Showing posts with label pleas to stop hitting me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pleas to stop hitting me. Show all posts

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Hey, Senior Citizens! Off The Road!

I just got plowed into last night by a senior citizen. (Don't worry. If you're on the verge of panic, concerned about how I am, rest assured that I'm absolutely fine aside from the anger boiling around inside me, giving me diarrhea). Now, when I say "plowed into," I mean in my car, by theirs. He didn't run me over with his walker or anything. But I digress.
So.

Now, maybe this wouldn't be so terribly awful, except for the fact that a mere two weeks ago, the exact same thing happened to me! And guess who happened to be driving the other vehicle you may wonder?
Yes! A senior citizen!

You may be grateful to know that I've decided that I'm not completely against our friendly old folks on the road, because who else is going to keep Denny's and matinee movies in business? Nah, they just need to follow one simple rule:

When you see, say, a sign that says 65 MPH, that's how fast you're supposed to go. That isn't how many minutes it'll take you to get to your destination - although, that can be quite accurate when you're crawling along at 20 MPH or so. So read the signs! You may not be in any hurry to get to the breakfast buffet, but most of us usually need to get to our particular destination before the Ides of March or noon, whichever comes first.
Now that isn't so hard, is it?
Oh wait.
There's one more rule, the cardinal rule, the rule to end all rules, the rule that if you're only going to obey one rule, it'll be this rule:


STOP RUNNING INTO ME!!!!
(Although, to your credit, you seem to have great insurance, which is a bonus. Thanks for that).