Who am I?
I know the question is so cliche, but really, who am I?
Tuesday was my last sesh with my therapist. She maintains that I don't need therapy so much as "spiritual guidance." And I do agree. (At least I think?) I mean, my spirituality is a big part of my life, and I would like to strengthen that area - I do agree with her that it would help in the whole recovery aspect.
But for me, living without therapy is like a fish trying to survive out of water. Being Anorexic Brie, the girl who's always in treatment centers, the emaciated girl, the girl who's always in therapy...as sad and pathetic as it sounds, that's who I was (and maybe still am).
That was my identity. That hopeless, fragile shell of a person was what I knew, was all that I thought I had to offer this world whose idea of a beautiful woman is an emaciated woman.
I know that it's time to grow up and shed that old, tired me. I want to be somebody new, real, vibrant, beautiful.
But I'm scared. What if the Brie I find down the road does not fill me the way my anorexic self did? What if I can't find anything else to be good at?
It's time to try being...well, normal.
Is there even such a thing?
Is there such a thing as me living in this world without my eating disorder?