Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Back To Basics

Breathe.
Yes, that's good.
Wait. Don't forget to exhale.
Good.
Now breathe again.
Blink if you need to, of course.
And sleep.
But don't forget to wake up.
Shower. It would be awful to let your hygiene slip.
Get dressed.
Run a comb through your hair.
Go to work.
Smile at your coworkers.
The phone's ringing.
You should answer it.
Molina Healthcare, this is Brie.
Good. You sound normal.
And you're still breathing.
Still blinking.
Still going through the motions.
Come home.
Play with your son.
Eat.
Breathe, blink.
Sleep.
It's back to basics.
Sometimes
that's all I can offer life.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Live.
Survive.

8 comments:

brydelle said...

This was beautifully composed, but also very sad. The short sentences kinda showed the short tolerance for life and its complexities. I'm sorry that life is rough right now. It'll get better--it always cycles around, you know? I've been kinda depressed for a good week and I just can't shake it. But I'm really sorry that you have to take it slow, but also glad that you can recognize that. Some people try to do too much at once and it just kills them. Call me, babe! We'll do dinner, and give each other air kisses!

alana said...

going through the motions. as negatively connotated as it is, maybe its really a positive thing...sometimes its all you can do to not break down, ya know? it gets you through those shakey times until you find your footing again. so keep hanging on brie, because no matter how hard things are, no matter how much you don't believe in yourself, i know you and you're amazing. you will always land on your feet. fake it till you make it dude! :)

sav said...

Wow, this is quite moving..Brie, you always have the ability to say something that totally gets me thinking. I am with Alana on this one, and sometimes that's all that we can do to keep ourselves from realizing how lost we truly are. I love you, and I know that you will eventually be able to break the motions and just be free. Thanks Brie for always being there, and just know that I'm always here k?

P.S. Things are about the same, but there's not much I can do, but just get through it right? Love you hun!!

KC Elaine said...

so beautifully written. sometimes the motions are the best we can do.

heather asia said...

Most everyone has shared what I would've. The "motions"....that's what I'm doing to I think. But I know it's just GOT to end at some point, right? It's got to. Keep breathing, blinking, and just plain "being" and soon things will hopefully begin to feel more like life.

brookie-lou said...

Brie, here's the deal. You definitely need to stop making me cry. I am an absolute mess right now (as it sounds like you are also). I'm laughing one minute, raging the next, and crying like a baby the next hour. And then, there are days like yours, where I feel nothing and just go through the day. Mental illness sucks. I know that we are both going to get past our individual difficulties. Please, always try, don't give up...and don't think any other way.

Laurie and Corey Kunz said...

Hey Brie, I love blogs and noticed you shared yours on facebook and thought i would check it out. You can add mine to yours if you want too.
laurieandcoreykunz.blogspot.com
I just wanted to say that what you wrote is totally how I feel some days. It feels good to know other people (you) feel that way sometimes too. Why do we not hang out?

Stacy & Ryan said...

amazing...
yet sometimes it is just what makes you survive yet another day.


ps... i snooped your blog from Kyla (I am on hers I think) and I am on the CFC myspace group... just an FYI