Thursday, December 6, 2007

My Child

The pain was overwhelming.
It eclipsed any other feeling or emotion. There was no joy, no anticipation at the pending arrival of the baby.
Just pain.
Pain so intense I wondered how I could not be dying. I was screaming. Shaking.
And then relief.
And then he was screaming. He was put in my arms, his wriggly, purple, naked little body, and the pain, which seconds before had been about to kill me, had been all-consuming - was completely forgotten.
Even covered in birth matter and blood he was the most beautiful thing I had even been blessed enough to behold.
He was mine. I had made this small, perfect human being. His squashed little face was nuzzled against my chest and I grinned. I laughed. I cried.
And I knew that I would have gone through the pain and grief and anxiety and agony and fear and the myriad of other experiences and emotions I had endured during my nine months of pregnancy again and again if I had needed to for this perfect child.
My child.

6 comments:

alana said...

so sweet, and yet at this point in my life i cannot imagine pushing a watermelon through my chon...yikes. so props to you! ps...i love that you called it "birth matter!" i don't know why that struck me as funny, but it did. hooray for the mini man!

KC Elaine said...

oh Brie, what a wonderful mother you always strike me as! This is beautiful.

Brandon said...

Sweet sweet lovely wife, you still have the deepest respect from me for that experience. I remember trying to be there and to help you and being totally helpless. I have never wanted to take the pain away from someone so much as I did then. Anyway, you earned by right of passage my deepest respect and the title of MILF. Congrats!!

brydelle said...

Ah! I love Caden! He is an amazing creature, even though he denies me at every turn, and you are incredible for bringing him to this world. I will see you and your manchild on Sat!

brookie-lou said...

ok thanks..made me cry again.

Jenny Bay said...

Hey Brie - I was just browsing through your blog and I just wanted to say that I love your writing, and I totally know how you feel. You actually wrote this post the day after my baby boy was born!! Best day of my life! Love ya!