Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Just a Day, Just an Ordinary Day

Yesterday was fabulous, with the kids.  I took them to the park and Mila made it her mission to be hell-bent on stealing my Diet Coke and drinking it - that child never gives up - and I was able to spend time with Cade, pushing him on the swing and playing his version of "basketball."  It wasn't much, but it was.  Does that make sense?

I needed this time with my kiddos to get a sense of perspective again, to figure out what's really important and what really matters.  To some, having to drag two kids to the park would have been hot and miserable and boring, but I loved every minute of it.  Being a mom makes me feel whole and important and real and there. 

What I weigh doesn't matter, what size jeans I'm wearing doesn't freaking matter.  My kids could care less if I gained or lost some weight, they just want a mama who is present and happy and healthy.  It's amazing how just some time with my kids could remind me of that.

I needed it.

8 comments:

Lou said...

"It wasn't much, but it was". Love it! And I know exactly what you mean - when i am really present and engaged with my little guy, nothing else seems to matter so much. And you're right, your kids don't care about the size of your backside, just that you are really there. (if anything, i'm pretty sure my son loves to sleep on me rather than my husband cos i'm squishier :))

brie said...

your "squishier." LOVE that - what a great way to put it. ;)

simonattic said...

I love days like that. : ) Make a goal to do that more often! I need to be more "present" when I'm with J.....I get so bored and distracted sometimes, but really, it's both of our losses, so I need to make more of an effort to be engaged. Thanks for the reminder! : )

Maeve said...

Glad you had this nice day :) Your realisations are so important because you mean the world to those two little cutie pies and they really don't care what you weigh, but they love you to bits and want you around to play with them!!!

silverbean said...

I love this. You are beautiful, in and out, and always have been. You always will be. It has been crucial for me to find that "outer purpose"-- things that make me feel whole, real, alive, and unconditionally loved. I don't have kids, but my pets are a big part of my recovery. So are my close-knit second family (non-biological), and my partner David. They love ME, and that is not dependent on my body size, fat percentage, BMI, pants size, or my own sense of self-worth (or lack thereof). Slowly, things are getting better. When my rheumatoid arthritis kicked in full speed ahead, that in and of itself was a huge call to action and kick in the ass towards moving forward in recovering. I learned what was really important in life, what really mattered, and figured out that I have one life in this body-- that I need and want to make this the best life I can for myself. That includes working on my trauma, kicking Ed's ass, and managing my health day to day. This post made me grin because I understand the gravity of those realizations you had at the park. Hang on to them. Be present. You are worth every bit of love, peace and light in the world.

Amanda P said...

This makes me happy. Children really are the best and I love your attitude. The park could be miserable or joyful - attitude is really what makes the difference. Love you and your kidlets.

emo said...

They look so happy! I'm glad you had a good outing with them. They are darling!
Love everything you mentioned in this. This is what gets me to go places and do things without much worry about me. Being a Mom has made me a less selfish person and for the most part a happier person.

Arielle Bair (Becker) said...

I'm glad you could enjoy that perfect kind of love. You've got something special and I envy it. You and those kiddos deserve lots of love and happiness.