Sunday, June 29, 2008

I Am a Really Sensitive Rescuer of Cats

This is me. This is me yesterday, rescuing a cat. This little guy has a unique history – he was saved from a house fire – all his brothers and sisters and mama didn’t make it. He was hurt and needed to be saved, and he was strong and brave and resilient and feisty, and I knew I needed to be the one to do it -save him, I mean. Maybe it’s because cats once saved my life; so it was time I return the favor. I’m not sure.

His name is Totem. Get it? My little Totem.

Tonight, Husband and I were on our nightly bike ride with the mini-man. I screeched to a halt when I noticed a white and gray tabby without any tags. It immediately came right to me, which makes me think that it has owners – it didn’t seem frightened of me at all. But it was quite thin, and dirty, and he wasn’t neutered – I checked, he definitely had some big giant balls. So…most responsible owners spay and neuter their animals if they're not going to breed them, you know? So now I’m on the fence of if he’s a stray or just has irresponsible parents.

So Brandon saw me, petting the cat, and he wearily said, “You’re only allowed to save one cat a week.” I promise I will bring no more home, Sweetie.

I think I may go around the neighborhood and see if he has any owners, if not; I think I’ll take him to an animal adoption agency. He deserves to be saved, just like Totem. Just like any animal, really. Man, stuff like this just really tugs at my heart strings. And, it doesn't just make me sad to see a homeless, hurt animal - it devastates me. I'm so sensitive. And sometimes it's great, but most of the time it feels like a burden, because I feel so deeply and so intensely, and sometimes it feels like it's too much to bear. Does anyone else understand what I'm feeling - whether it's regarding animals or not?

19 comments:

emmy. said...

oh. my. god.

my blog-crush continues to grow. you've hit my weakness. i'm 15 cats and a desire-to-be-married short of being a 22-year-old "cat lady".

that orange fluffball you're holding looks like my baby did when i first got him. now, of course, he's an enormous fluffball..currently sprawled at my feet.

and the poor thing's family :( oy, i can't handle it.

kristin said...

I'm glad that you saved that kitty! Totem looks like an absolute cutie!

I want to rescue a kitty really bad, but pets are no longer allowed in the campus-owned housing where I live. I am going to convince the dean otherwise, though. Kitties are essential to life and living.

How do your other kitties feel about Totem? I think Boots would kill me, but reluctantly accept a kitten.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad you rescued the kitty. I have two cats that were found in a cardboard box in a field, along with their siblings. They were so small that we had to give them formula from a tiny bottle for awhile. Now they are healthy and happy and big:-) There is this commercial on sometimes for the humane society and I have to switch the station otherwise I cry every time.

alriggells said...

I wont lie that I am not the biggest cat fan...but there have been a few cats in my day that have hit my heart strings, but I love animals and it kills me to see something bad happen to any of them. The hardest thing about living on the dairy farm was when a cow or a calf that you tried to keep alive when it got sick died, or when the calf that you pulled didn't make it. I remember one time almost giving mouth to mouth to a baby calf cause I just wanted it to live so bad. I would pump its stomach, blow in its mouth, clean out its mouth and nose, lift it up side down...over and over. I was so tired from doing it, but I wasn't going to watch it die. Animals just have a way with me, maybe it is because they are so accepting, they don't make rude comments about you, they don't talk back to you, they don't talk about you, they just love you for who you are, and they accept you. I don't know where I would be without my farm and the animals, and when I can have a dog I am going to buy one. When I can find a place and have money to board my horse, he is coming to Utah with me.

Laur said...

Nice pants....

Stacy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stacy said...

If you know the Jewel song "I'm Sensative" quote...
"I'm sensative, and I'd like to stay that way"
being sensative is a double edged sword sometimes, but there are so many good heartwarming and loving things us sensative people feel that others do not.

Maybe you could just save your most recent rescue and apply it to next weeks tally.. try that one on your husband :o)

Abby said...

Aw! The little guy is adorable!

I get sensitive about pretty much anything non-human that I possibly can look at from an anthropomorphic perspective. Animals, definitely--but also pictures and inanimate objects! A couple of months ago I saw an illustration of a cute little imaginary creature who obviously was suffering, and I was totally stressed out about it for several days. I couldn't stop thinking about it; I just wanted to curl up and cry. And now that I mention it, I'm still all sensitive about it!

My concern, though, is not so much about my sensitivity about non-humans as it is about my lack of sensitivity about humans! When I see pictures in the news of all the death and destruction around the world, I can barely get up the enthusiasm to stress out about it. Weird. Well, another one of my sicko tendencies has been exposed....

Jackie said...

I love anything that makes you happy B. Perhaps by rescuing and nurturing Totem, you are symbolically telling yourself that you are worth being nurtured :) Your connection with animals is completely understandable, I have the same thing, mostly with dogs though due to allergies :0

Love ya B.

xo Jackie

Emily said...

What a sweet kitty! I love orange tabbies. :) Totem is adorable. I hope Hairy and Bobbi accept him into the family with grace. I wish I could have another kitty, too, but I can only afford one right now. Someday, though, I would like another one. I think it's awesome that you rescued another cat. It's so important to get them from animal shelters and not pet stores!

kathy with a k said...

I understand what you're feeling!! Feelings...so intense. gotcha.
It's always been that way. As long as I can remember. I've been told it's not "too sensitive" as if something is wrong; Just sensitive. I remember my grandmother saying things like, "I feel things deeply". Maybe it's genetic. It's intense, whatever it is.
Love your new little kitten. That makes...um, three? Totem's adorable.

Anonymous said...

AWW! I love that kitten! And what a great name: something to remind you all the time. :)

FWIW, I don't feel things that deeply, but my mom does. She cries when she sees an animal dead at the side of the road, and she still cries occasionally about her dog that died several years ago. Sometimes it might seem a little odd to onlookers, but you know what? She has SO MUCH COMPASSION because of her sensitive heart.

So just think of it that way: you're not "overly sensitive," you're "incredibly compassionate."

Anonymous said...

I'm sensitive like that with animals too. I can't bear the thought of a hurt animal. I have to block any thoughts. I can't even handle watching cartoon animals! I'm pretty sure that that March of the Penguins movie would KILL me.

Tanya said...

Brie,

I feel the same thing...the intensity of emotion and just being able to feel how they could feel...especially with animals. Cats are near and dear to my heart but I feel that way with just about any animal there is. I am very glad you saved Totem. I feel so bad that he had to lose his entire family...the little guy must be so lonely. I know you will take good care of him and spoil him rotten too. Hugs.

zubeldia said...

oh yes, I DO know what you mean. I almost sob when I see a dead animal on the road, and when people even joke about eating meat, a horrifying image of animal suffering appears i my mind and, again, once again, I cry. We lived opposite a field of lambs and sheep growing up and when I was 7 or 8 I made the connection between them and meat. My entire family are HUGE meat eaters but I became a vegetarian then. I then became vegan because I soon learned more about that, too, and even a bit of knowledge sticks in my mind. I'm like this with almost everything... alas, it is difficult to shop for clothing, too :-)

I sometimes wish that I wasn't affected in this way, but mostly I'm glad that I am. I think it's often easy to ignore suffering, to rationalize it away, and while all of us do it to varying extent, I am a bit fan of sensitivity. Mr. Z is similar to me, though I am pretty much an anomaly in my family.

Hope you're well, honey?

love, Z

KC said...

such an adorable kitty with a perfectly suitable name. congrats on being a new cat mom! I think I know what you mean about the sensitivity - I've been trying to save animals since I was tiny - but with everything, sometimes it hurts deeply to care so much. -Kyla

brie said...

I'm so relieved that so many people seem to understand me. No one in my family understands my extreme sensitivity, especially where animals are concerned. It's not that my family hates animals or anything, it's just that...they don't love them and feel this incredible need inside to nurture and protect them, as I do.

I can relate what you said, Abby: I can watch the news, and hear about a homicide or a rape, and I kind of have to numb myself out to not care, but if there's a story on about animal abuse, I have to change the channel or I'll start crying and not be able to get my mind off it. I think it's because animals seem so simple and so defenseless to me. As humans, we can understand a bit more about the cruelty in this world, but animals...they don't understand why they're being hurt. It makes me so sad.

Anonymous said...

B, I'm so with you on your last comment. I so get it and I feel exactly the same.

Laura said...

My husband and I just rescued two cats! Ozzy is doing fantastic, but poor Princess (she came with the name) is not doing so well. She has been in the hospital since Saturday, and she is is very sick. She has a sick liver...she has been in and out of shelters, and this could all be stress related. stress=starvation=bad liver. And get this B...she is on a feeding tube.

Rewind back to 1991...My fantastic therapist in Boston asked me, after I talked on and on about the kitten I had just gotten, "So, would you ever consider not feeding your cat?"
Of course, I said, "No! Why would I ever do that to something I love??"

hmmm....

I am sad tonight because I don't think Princess will be coming back home to us. And although I told my husband we woudl NOT be getting another kitty, I am feeling a strong need to save a life...

and hell, if you can't save yourself, why not a cute furry kitty?

keep on feeling...I am very, very weary of people who DON'T cry over things like animals..I will choose sensitivity over lack of compassion any day....