The Don’ts of ED Professionals

So, I’ve seen a lot of therapists in my day. And dieticians. And, some (well, most) have been great. But well, a few were a little sketch (or, at least, made some pretty awful mistakes). I was thinking today that I should blog about a list of things not to do if you’re a professional (either in therapy or nutrition or simply the care tech flushing their feces) working with an Ed patient:

1.) I had a therapist who was not approachable – not even a little bit. And don’t you, as a therapist, say, find being approachable kind of an asset? I’d ask her a question and she’d look irritated with me. If (this is while I was IP) I needed to speak with her for a few minutes, not a full session or anything, she’d give this big dramatic sigh and then speak as little as possible to me – like, speaking over 50 words would be punishable by pain of death or whatever. Plus she wore bitch boots, and they scared me. A lot. Oh, and once she told me I had never accomplished anything in my life. I was like, Thanks a lot, ya giant a-hole.

2.) Don’t mess around with “weight issues” if you are not the patient’s dietician – maybe, maybe you can as her therapist, but you need to be very careful, because remember, you weren’t trained to deal with their weight, you acquired all those fancy letters after your name to piddle around in their brain. And if you’re anything else lower on the food chain? DON’T DO IT! While I was IP, I had a care-tech who had never met me, even though I’d been in treatment for nearly a month – she’d been gone on vacation, or something. So she saw me, and more or less asked me if I was bulimic or anorexic. Guys, you just don’t. do. that. I was pissed. And constipated. So she read a book and sat outside my bathroom while I tried to go #2. And I was so indignant that this woman would have the privilege of flushing my fecal matter.

3.) We’re taught, as ED patients, to try try try to not compare ourselves to others’, right? But we all know this is ridiculous, and that we more or less compare ourselves to anything that is female and breathes. But we’re always told, it doesn’t matter what others look like, comparing is bad, blah blah, and take care of yourself and don’t worry about others, blah, and she might be skinnier than you but she’s probably more unhappy, too, blah diddy blah. Well, my dietician decided it would be the World’s Cruelest Joke to take me to Chuckarama for lunch one afternoon. Buffets are sketchy to begin with, and me no likey. And, this specific dietician was tall, like me. And she was pretty. And she was freakishly thin. So naturally, I couldn’t stop comparing myself to her – I was much bigger than her. I made a comment to that effect as we were walking in, and you know what she said? She said this: “You’re totally the same size as me; you’re just as skinny as me.” To which I replied with a malicious/stunned expression and said flatly, “No. I’m not. You’re way smaller than me.” And then you know what she said? She laughed and said, “Yeah, you’re right, I am skinnier.” And then she tried to go in and get me to gorge myself on an all-you-can-eat buffet. I don’t think so. So as an ED professional, don’t be the freaking person to instigate comparisons. So not cool, sis.

4.) Do not give us ultimatums. Do not say you will no longer see a patient if she doesn’t gain XX amount of pounds in XX days or else they’ll be fired and thrown out of treatment. This doesn’t work, only makes us feel expendable and worthless because we more than likely cannot do what you are asking us. And it hurts like hell. I mean, if I could gain weight quickly and efficiently on my own, would I even freaking need to see you? No. So stop being bratty about it. (That’s what I wanted to say…) Needless to say, moved on to another D, and like her much more.

Okay, really, there are a lot more of these. But I’m starting to feel all tight and bitter inside, so I should stop. Plus, more of my unresolved anger issues toward the mental health industry are starting to blossom right about now, and with how DEE-PRESSED I’ve been lately, I think it best if I keep uncomf feelings to a minimum, you know?

I’m sorry I haven’t been properly commenting on some of your blogs. Please don’t be upset, honestly, I have a lot of catching up to do – I’ve been so down, I haven’t been able to do much of anything. But I have missed you, and I’m sure I’ll be back to my otherwise blogerrific self in no time. Brie out.