Monday, March 16, 2009

The Cost of Both Falling & a Heavy Flow

Morning friends.

Hope you all had a lovely weekend. Mine was just fine. A little boring, maybe, but hey I can’t complain. On Saturday morning I’d say I was suffering from some mild to kinda sorta might have perhaps been bordering on moderate depression but that eventually went away. And I don’t know what’s up with me lately, but I keep giving myself some major battle scars:

So the shiner I mentioned a few posts ago? Yeah, I gave that to myself. We all know I have allergies like there’s no tomorrow, and itching my eyes feels sooooo good (even though I know it’s sooo bad!) and I guess I rubbed my righty just a wee too much and ended up bruising it myself.
AND THEN
On Friday afternoon I went outside to ripstick, and I fell harder than I ever have before. Usually when I fall, I see it coming so I can kind of try to catch myself or break my fall, but this giant crack from Hades was like just there all up in my grill, and I never saw it coming, and my front wheel got stuck in it and I went flying. I landed on my right side: shoulder, elbow, wrist, hip, and knee. I swear to you that I laid there for about 13 seconds sure I had broken something or maybe even DIED. And I didn’t but wow I’ve got some bruises: my wrist/hand, a giant beauty on my knee, and even one on my hip/bum/thigh bone. It took me a few hours after the biff from hell to dare get back on the stick. But I did. And I haven’t fallen again (yet).

Anyway so in the last week I’ve given myself a bruised eye, shoulder, elbow, hand, hip, and knee. Pretty impressive track record. To beat my remarkable resume, you’ll either need a death wish or be the biggest moron on earth. Good luck with that!

Man. I forgot that periods are like giant douche monsters. And I swear I haven’t bought a box of tampons since 2003. Since when did they jack up the price? My hell. $9.99 for a box of supers? It’s only a little plastic, and er, like cotton or something. How can that cost that much? What are they going to do next? Make them out of sterling silver? Mother of pearl? My goodness! I was outraged! I wouldn’t have bought them except Whit so lovingly reminded me that I had no other choice because, like, toilet paper and cotton balls didn’t work for the pioneers and it certainly won’t work for me. Tampon-Maker Jerks know that and that’s why they know they can charge however much $$ they want. Brie’s sad!

Okay, well, I’m off. Much work to be done ‘round here. Le sigh.

14 comments:

Laura said...

agree on the tampons cost. And how about all of the CHOICES??? Super, regular, plastic, paper, scented, unscented, pearl, lightly breaded with a side of pasta....

too much!

Now, go put in that expensive tampon and put on a helmet.

Lisa said...

"Feminine care products" are a racket. You can cry research and development all you want, but really ... it's always been the same concept.

And I second Laura - put on a helmet, girl!

jana bananas said...

I think you should wrap yourself completely in bubble wrap before you go ripsticking. Besides all the protection, you'll look freaking cool!

Kara said...

Tampons really do cost a lot. Even worse - I can't get the cheap cardboard ones because they hurt. Ouch!

Pattie Cordova * Vintage Mafia said...

total ripoff on the tampons AND THEY KNOW IT!!! Scammers.

p.s. there are these, um "cups" called Instead that you kinds just stick up there as an alternative to them tampons and they last up to 10 hours... I'm just saying.

tawny said...

Yay your back, i missed you..anyhoo, I know. Tampons are so darn much, i swear it's a conpiracy..every woman needs them AND has to buy them. They friggin rip us off...! geez

oh and the shiner, so sorry you fell off your ripstick...but proud you got right back up and kept ripsticking...is that a word? WEll fun to hear your funny posts again, they make me smile even on a dreary day! loooove it. xoxo

HAFC said...

You little masochist!!! No, I know none of it was on purpose, but it's just so funny that it all seemed to have happened at once. : ) I could never ever, ever do a ripstick...I'd most likely lose an eye or something!

Standing in the Rain said...

i have to say the cup idea weirds me out. i mean it just sounds so messy. and then reaching in there to get it out. just eww.

i'd rather pay the shit-ton they are charging for tampons. and steal them wherever you can. i have to admit, when i'm somewhere nice, like a spa or something that has tampax out, i totally take a handful. i a cheapskate. for reals.

and yes, do wear a helmet. and maybe knee pads. and elbow pads. and wrist gaurds. hmmm. yeah maybe just bubble wrap your whole body and then put a helmet on top. that'd be awesome.

Penny said...

Well, i endorse the knee pads and elbow gear. What a great idea. i saw the bruises and they are really for real! Please be careful, but with the great weather forecast, i hope that you can ha. ve some real fun. I am impressed how you just start having hobbies. Who does that? You are a role-model. Ever think of that?

Sarah said...

Two points:

I also am cheap. I sometimes bring soy milk in a water bottle to Panera so that I can order espresso over ice in a larger cup, pour my milk in, and pay $.59 instead of $3.00 for an iced soy latte...

Also, a girl on my dorm hall freshman year came to my door begging for a tampon. I felt bad and gave her like 10 of them because I wasn't sure when she'd be able to go the store. I felt like a nice person even though I was like "dang, now I have to go to the store and fork over my hard earned summer job money for another box of freaking tampons." Anyway, I read on this girl's myspace several days later that she had done it to EVERY GIRL ON MY HALL, had gotten like 60 tampons, and was bragging that she had ripped us all off and wouldn't have to buy tampons for several months.

The anger BURNED.

Pattie Cordova said...

Sarah... holy crap. I would have been just as pissed as you... AND I would have gone back and demanded by tampons back and then blackmailed her that I was telling every girl in the hall about her stupid little stunt unless she forked over 20 more.

brie said...

Sarah, you should have "padded" her! Seriously you should've bought a bunch of cheap maxi pads and then stuck them all over her door - I did that to someone once! ;) To make it super gross you could have put fake blood or something on them...eewy. But she deserved it!!

What a hussy.

satisfiction said...

I take the pills that make the tampons unnecessary. :D

One time I went horseback riding, and the horse fishtailed and I fell off, and I bounced. Then I was helping my instructor bring some of the horses in for the night, and I must have caught my hand in one of their chains (there was one massive horse that needed a chain lest he break a lead rope) because I went to pat the dog before I went home and my hands were all covered in blood. Nasty. Oddly, no bruises from that day. Just bouncing and blood. I miss horseback riding.

-Lindsay

T.S.T. said...

Hmmm...I'm thinking that if you find a "personal care item" that's shaped like a tampon but made out of silver or mother of pearl, it's probably not a tampon that you're looking at . . . .

Back in my menstruating days, I actually used and loved the cups. Yes, they do take a bit of getting used to. But, they are much more bank-account-friendly and environmentally-friendly. Plus, you can have sex without taking them out. They're not as messy as pads, and they don't, um, dry out your delicate inner lady tissue like 'pons do. My GYN recommended them years & years ago when I complained about getting urinary tract infections after virtually every period.

Have I turned into a menstrual cup evangelist? I didn't realize how much enthusiasm I had in me!