Tuesday, September 2, 2008

National Blueberry Popsicle Month

Really? According to this website, September is the month of many ridiculously random things. Here are a few:

-Fall Hat Month
-International Square Dancing Month
-National Blueberry Popsicle Month
-National Courtesy Month
-National Piano Month
-Chicken Month
-Baby Safety Month
-Little League Month
-Honey Month
-Self Improvement Month
-Better Breakfast Month

So, who decides what random thing gets to be nationally (or even internationally – go square dancing!) recognized? I’ve never even tasted a blueberry popsicle. Maybe that’s why they’re recognized? Because nobody likes them, and for one month out of the year they get to feel special.

And - better breakfast, huh? Like, is that promoting eating a healthy(ier) breakfast than one normally does? If so, then I should focus on that this month. I’m currently eating Doritos and guzzling it all down with a 32 ouncer of Diet Coke. What if I dipped my Doritos in Ranch? Doesn’t Ranch have milk in it? That counts as calcium! See? I can make Better Breakfast Month really work, here.

Well, if it were up to me, here’s what I’d have September commemorate:

-Shiny Hair Month (on me, of course)

-Diet Coke Month (and, in my oh so important opinion, I think it should be EVERY month)
-Make a Mortal Enemy Month (‘cuz we all need one!)
-Recover Right Freaking Now From Your Eating Disorder Month
-Have a Breakthrough in Therapy Month (even a small one would be nice!)
-Say the Word Queefer At Least Once This Month Month
- National WTF Month
Well, that’s to name a few. What does September commemorate to you?

I need to plot how to say ‘queefer’ to a coworker today without getting fired. Any ideas?


Cammy said...

Maybe Blueberry Popsicles and Honey-covered Chicken are their idea of a "Better Breakfast?" Just don't eat that at the Piano, that could get you in trouble.

Since I prefer my musical instruments unstickified, I like your alternate list for September much better. For me, September is traditionally:
-Don't Forget the Youngest Brother's Birthday Month
-Apologize for Forgetting the Parent's August Anniversary Month
-Scream Your Head Off at Football Games Month
-Watch for Fall Migratory Birds Month
-Cringe for Oncoming Winter Month
-Procrastinate All of Those Papers That Aren't Due Until the End of the Semester Because There Will Be Plenty of Time to Freak Out in November Month


brie said...

C, you made me laugh!

...And...who wants to tell C what a queefer is?!

Cammy said...

Oh god, I just googled it...someone has to be that awkward kid that wasn't in on the jargon, might as well be me this time... ;)

kristin said...

September is also National Campus Safety Awareness Month.

KC Elaine said...

loves it! Especially Recover Right Freaking Now from Your Eating Disorder Month

takeupyourbedandwalk said...

For me, September is always "Thank God Summer is Almost Over Because Ninety Degree Days are Too Damn Hot When My Air Conditioner is a Crappy Window Unit and the Inside of My Apartment is Really Not Any Cooler Than the Ninety Degree Air Outside Month."

Rolls right off the tongue, don't you think? No?


CookieGirl said...

I have to admit. I am responsible for creating a few of these ridiculous, consumer-goods-pushing awareness holidays. I did it quite a few times with my last job...you literally write a petition to congress, or to the state or local representative you want to proclaim it (some states even have pre-existing forms you fill out) and if it's approved, a few weeks later you receive a signed and sealed proclamation stating it is ______ day/week/month in ____ state. Sad!! xoxo

brie said...

CookieGirl, for real? What kind of job did you have? Crazy much!

Krista said...

Ok I got an idea to use Queefer. A special thanks to google for the inspiration. I DID know what the words meant, but after Cammy said she googled it I was curious to see what it would say. So here is what you need to do. Go up to a co-worker and innocently ask "Hey what's that show that stars that Queefer Sutherland guy? You know that one show where the people work at the counter terrorist unit." Act like you don't know his real name and see what they do, but you can't laugh or it will give it away. Then blog about it so we know how it went.

Krista said...

I'm sorry to share this but it is too freaking funny. Check this out and make sure to look on the left had side at all the variations of the word queef.

brie said...

Krista that is too funny! I'm totally going to use the Queefer Sutherland idea - you're a genius! And I was looking at the urban dictionary definitions earlier today...after Cammy said she googled it, I was inspired to as well. The Urban Dictionary makes me laugh...there are some pretty nasty definitions of my name on there, too.

Kathy with a K said...

Since August 2003, National Underwear Day has been celebrated.(think I'm joking? go to http://www.freshpair.com/underwear-day.html) The date changes every year, so you have to watch for it.(as I'm sure you will)
It's one of my personal favorite holidays. My California nieces and nephews look forward to it now, because of me.

Laura said...

I was waiting for K with K to post national underpant day. She tells no lies. We have celebrated together. With decorations we designed ourselves. I may have pictures...if so, I will post them. It was a beautiful celebration.

jana bananas said...

Damn, I was totally going to say "Queefer Sutherland."

This post made me queef a bit. ;)

Jackie said...

-Go to dinner with Brie month
-Get Brie to say Queefer to the waiter month
-Get JB to visit Salt Lake month
-Get Z to eat a cinnamon roll month
-Find a therapist month
-Cut my diet coke consumption from 6 cans a day to 5 cans a day

That is all for now...Good thing I can check the first two off tomorrow!!!!

Love, jax

Emily said...

Well, I didn't know what a queefer was, so I looked it up... and laughed. :)

Cammy said...

Urban Dictionary was the site that Google took me to, ACK. Now that I think about it, I bet the Google overlords now have it in their database that I was looking up the word "queefer" for some reason. Who knows where that information could end up. Is this going to cost me a job someday?

brie said...

Jax, I'm so going to say queefer to the waiter...but you might have to get me drunk first, lol. ;)

But I really am going to say it today at work, the one coworker I dare corner and say it is here...she wasn't yesterday. I'll keep you all updated!

brie said...

Oh, and K with a K and Laura...I'm impatiently awaiting your underwear pics. NOW!!

Lisa said...

September has always been my favorite because it's MY birthday month as well as my twin sisters' birthday month. They will be seventeen and I am terrified. I really hope they don't know the meanings of queef, queefer, and any variation thereof.