I am loving the tube-free life, it's totally TUBULAR, (get it?) withstanding the nighttime hours, while it's snaked in my innards pumping me full of life-renewing supplement, of course. I can now actually eat food without taking miniscule bites that tease my appetite and make me choke on my tube. I just gobbled a tuna sandwich with foracious abundance, and let me tell you, it felt so good. Placing the tube at night is a...well, is a little tricky. Check out Dev's amazing blog post on the subject (she was at my house witnessing the whole horriffic experience last night). Particularly check out the comment Brandon left as well, because it's hilarious and reminds me all over again why I have a really neat husband.
But, you know, a few uncomf feelings regarding choking, snot, and near brain-pokage is absolutely worth it if people no longer stare at my face and wonder if cancer is killing me or something. Also, I developed an allergy to the tape that held it in place, and consequently developed a self-esteem ruining rash that looked suspiciously like acne all over my left cheek, and I hated it and it itched and made me feel ugly and gross. So now I can still try to recover or whatever, but also do it in the private of my own home, you know? And do it sans-rash, too.
I feel all weird and nervous inside regarding my last post. My first impulse was to delete it just as I posted it, but I tried to be strong and vulnerable (is that an oxymoron?) and show you all a little of the not-so-cool side of Brie Bee. Thanks for not being jerks about it. I'm debating posting some Serious Brie Moments every once in awhile, so we'll see. How's this for serious and sad and un-funny: I feel fat. I am fat. I am no longer special. If I can't be good at anorexia, what can I be good at? I don't want to be insignificant, mediocre. And now I'm just one of the masses. And now it's time to move on.
I'm going out of town this weekend, but I may still try to get an entry or two in. I'm going to get some hella needed R&R at an elite resort and just sun sun sun all weekend. I'll miss my man and my man-child, but really, not very much. ;) It's only for a weekend, after all. The weather in SLC is hideously wretched and moody. One day it's sunny, the next it's windy and back down in the 60's. And really, its bi-polar tendencies are kind of pissing me off.