Tuesday, May 6, 2008

A Quick Update and Then…

I’m going to go blog AWOL for a few days. There’s some controversy with my blog right now, a lot of tension and drama boiling under the surface, and I just need a break. Frankly, I’m not sure what to do.

So, quickly:

I’m okay. I’ve gained a little weight (yeeeah!) and am still plugging along. They pulled out my tube last night because it got clogged, and shoved a new one up my left nostril to give the right one a break, so it was a bit alarming to have to go through that again, but I’m glad it’s over.

I’m back at work now, and am desperately trying to get in the groove of things and forget about what’s been happening over the past day or two. It feels awful to be at work, but it in a way, it feels nice to know I’m trying to be productive again (trying by the operative word, here).

I hope everyone is doing well and is enjoying the spring sunshine. I love spring, except for the asthma it’s giving me and Small Man. I really enjoy breathing, and I hate when I can’t. Go figure.

I’ll still be around reading others blogs, I’m just taking a step back from my own for a bit. I need to decide what to do. I hate drama.

Bye for now.


zubeldia said...

Hi Brie, I'm sorry to hear that things are difficult with your blog. I have kept mine anonymous and with that comes some issues.. and more recently I made it private. There are both positives and benefits to this, of course...

Anyway, I do hope you stay in touch, and if writing helps with your recovery and keeps you connected I hope that you can work through this.

Love Z

jana bananas said...

But I'm addicted to your blog! What am I gonna do?!

I'm going to email you.

Congratulations on going back to work. I'm sure that wasn't easy with the tube. I'm so proud of you!

KC Elaine said...

Brie, I love your blog, and I hope you don't let some controversy deter you from your writing and your sharing. I check your blog multiple times a day, so I will certainly miss reading your thoughts. On the other hand, I personally am a very sensitive person, and as much as I like to think I'm immuned to other people's opinions, the truth is that even the tiniest criticism sends me to tears - so I think I may get the gist of your hesitation (correct me if I'm wrong or too assuming).

However poorly I may deal with criticism, I do stand by my opinion that controversy is good for the world. And you will never be able to make everyone happy when everyone wants something different. I happen to like tongue-in-cheek. So if you want to make ME happy, you won't be able to quit. No, I take that back - I'll be happy with you no matter what unless you call me mean names and mean them, okay? You don't need to impress me.

heather said...

Hey Brie...I too am sad you're taking a break from blogging, but after back-reading some of your recent ones I can now understand why. I for one, as I know many others, are proud of the gigantic efforts you're making to get better. Hearing criticism, no matter how constructive, is more than just difficult, it can feel like free-falling out into nothing. Not a good feeling. I appreciate your honesty in all your blogs. Honesty is a huge issue with us ED gals, but you've owned up to your problems and weaknesses and moved on. You've grown into such a compassionate, giving, and honest individual that you should feel so very proud of yourself. You've worked hard these past six years I've known you. You're no longer that passive, frightened little teenage girl caught between so many thought and feelings. You've crossed the line and become an admirable and honerable adult. I respect that. Not many people can pull it off with such grace and tenacity as you have. As someone once told me, and yes, it's kind of crude when you think about it...."chew up the meat and spit out the bones." Meaning, there's is almost always something useful in what someone may say to us, but it is up to us to take the good (perhaps the conern and love?) and then literally spit out the bad...the unthoughtful criticism? I'm proud of your assertiveness, Brie. Don't go and hide now. You need to speak the truth. You need to get it out there, whether others "approve" or not. As you've mentioned before, writing/blogging has been such a help in your recovery, it's like breathing. Take a break for a bit, but please don't hide forever. Come back and tell your story, each horrid and frightingly funny day. As so many have stated, we appreciate and understand and can empathize with so much of what you say. You help us know we're not alone. That we too can be assertive and strong human beings. Thanks for your courage to speak. So many of us have been taught to be silent. You've got guts to be admired!
Love ya, Heather

Anonymous said...

To Heather,
I remember you as a much different young woman a few plus years ago. how proud i am of you. You, too, have worked so very hard to fight for your life and I am proud of you. Thanks for all of your continued love and support of my daughter.

Stacy said...

Heather is exactly right.

Do what is right for YOU. I will miss your words (and you). But I look forward to a return. I have dealt with so many more issues that have come to the fore front as I have read your posts and it is truly helped me. I know we are a little biased since most of us have (or had) EDs too, but I think I can say for all of us that we root for you in your recovery, just as you root for us and as we for ourselves.
Just by being yourself you help others. That in itself is amazing, but it is also incredible the lengths you are going to in order to help yourself. Helping yourself is the hardest part.

Love Stacy

aLana said...

the long and short of it is simply that


take all the time you need! :)

alriggells said...

I love you and hope things get cleared up. Keep on keepin on...as our famous friend Racher says. I love you and miss you

Savannah said...
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Savannah said...

I'm sorry to hear that your blog isn't going well. I enjoy reading it so I look forward to your next posts. Take your time and get back on when you feel you are ready. Love you hun and I will text you to see how you're doing. Love you!!!

Shannon said...

To quote a very smart and cool girl "...First of all, it's YOUR blog, you can post whatever the hell you wanna post! Secondly, you're human. You're going to have your ups and your downs. My blog is a mixture of humor and realism and joy and sadness, and that's okay..."

I love your blogs girly, but I understand needing a break. I hope it all get sorted out!

Paige said...

Hope your blog break isn't too long, but we understand. Hang in there and keep up the good work!

Emily said...

I understand why you need to take a blog break. And I'm so sorry it was your sister in law who was writing those comments! That's terrible! How cruel. :(

Like the others have said... it's your blog. Write what you want! I understand the anxiety of not knowing how others will react, though, and what they will think of you. I dreaded the comments that were sure to come from Anonymous on every blog post I wrote- comments that dragged me down and made me feel bad. I'm glad I finally wrote something directed right at her! I hope she honors my request to stop commenting on my blog, please.

I look forward to your return, and will miss you greatly. Take care of yourself, okay? I love you!