Thursday, May 8, 2008

A Rough Draft

Oh – geez, my pants are tighter on me and they’re my designer jeans and I couldn’t stop wailing, “I’m faaaaaaaaaaaaaat, I’m faaaaaaaaaat!” And Brandon couldn't stop shaking his head in annoyance and fake sympathy and I know this is technically, like, good, great, whatever, but all I can think about is how my tubification is making me bigger and my anxiety is really high and I almost crapped my pants but I know that this is a good thing, because I’m totally pro-Brie-life.

13 comments:

Jodi said...

CONGRATS!!! (If it were possible I would give you more than 5 stars)

Emily said...

Congratulations. And, hey, I can't say weight gain will ever get easier... but at a point there comes a level of acceptance. I understand your anxiety and fear, as I feel that daily in regards to the size of my ass or my thighs or any other part of my body. It royally sucks. But I am pro-Emily-life... I'm glad you're pro-Brie-life because then we can be pro-both-of-us-lifers!

Devon said...

Way to be my Brie. I am however, not at all surprised...as previously stated. I love you tremendously and hope you come to know how much strength you truly have...

Stacy said...

excuse to someday buy NEW jeans :o)
I mean most women like to shop a little.

congrats!!!

heather said...

I hear your fear. It's messed up and scary and overwhelming I'm certain. This, as you very well know, is the hardest part. The beginning of the "gain"....but honestly, Brie...and I do mean honestly.....it gets better and better the more you take each minute by minute and BREATH. It took me YEARS to get where I am right now...it doesn't happen fast by any means. And it's crazy-ass scary. I know that fear quite well. But you'll survive it, even when you don't think you can manage another day of it. You're a survivor! You also don't give up. Your stubborness will serve you well in this area! You'll always be the most giving, compassionate, greatest friend and mom,and wife, and daughter no matter what you weigh or feel like you look like. Rigth out your fears....scream them if you need to. Complain until even YOU roll your eyes at yourself! This can be done. That much I can tell you for sure. You can and will beat this s.o.b. in the ass and you'll look back, with no regrets at how you got there, b/c you will have MADE IT! You'll have survived to see your darling little boy grow up and get married and have babies of his own! I'm glad you're back to writing. It really does feel like breathing, doesn't it? You need that oxygen to carry you up high so you can look down and see how well you're doing.
Hugs,
Heather

it's me, t said...

YAY PRO BRIE LIFERS!!! I love you tubey tuberson! designer jeans are nice, but look at your man child when it's overwhelming. he loves you more than those jeans. and he always will as long as you're with him. i love you.

Emily said...

Anonymous commented after I told her not to, telling me to "drink or take recreational drugs" to manage my anxiety, drive while on my meds or not take my meds so I can drive, and told me I need to get past this "mental health bull". She obviously does not have my best interest at heart.

Emily said...

Aw, what happened to the old blog header with the drawings? That was so cute. Your new one is cute, too, fear not. I was just surprised to see such a big change!

The Cheese said...

I'm just messing around with it. I'm sure it'll be back shortly. :)

Shannon said...

I'm Pro-Brie-Life too! I think we all are. Embrace those tight pants! (or have them embrace... you...?)

Oh ya, and its a total excuse to buy new pants. What better excuse than that?

KC Elaine said...

1) congratulations!
2) you're not getting fat, you're getting strong
3) it's okay to be upset
4) thank you! (you know why)
5) go on a shopping spree!

Lj said...

It's always a breath of fresh air to read something and to know you aren't alone :) That's how this made me feel, because I've definitely had the same thoughts. But just as others have said, you're just getting BETTER. You're LIVING, getting HEALTHY. They're only jeans! (Trust me, I'm saying it to myself as much as I'm saying it to you!)

zubeldia said...

You're amazing, Brie!