Sessy Kitty

Well, summer vacation is officially here.  I'm glad for the more relaxing schedule, but I know that by the time school starts, I will be soooooo ready for C to be back in school.  I think Cade is finally getting old enough to do chores every day; I remember that when I was his age and all through elementary/junior high, I had to do a chore(s) every day during the summer before I could play with friends.  I think I'm going to do the same thing with him, though I swear he's being more of a butt about it than I would have dared to with my mom!  Today he had to put away his clean laundry, and after much consternation, he finally did it.  Geez.  It's not even that big of a deal - putting away a few shirts?  When I was a kid, I had to like garden and mow the lawn and crap.  He has no idea how easy he has it!

I'm a little bummed, because right now I should be in sunny St. Geezy with my mom and sisters, but had to bow out of the trip this time around because tomorrow, at 8 pm, I have an appt with Taylor that I can't miss.  An appt with the Miss Taylor Swift!  LOL I'm slightly embarrassed to admit how much I like her.  :)  Brandon and I have been planning on going to her RED concert for ages, and I decided that missing the trip was worth it.  So I'll get my adolescent angsty teen on for a night.  :)  Why not, I say!

I'm also super proud of myself, because I swear that today is like the first day in a lonnnnggggg time (longer than I care to admit) that my ENTIRE house has been clean at once.  Usually, the downstairs will be clean, but the kid's room will be a mess, or vice versa - the upstairs is clean, while the downstairs is all cluttered.  But I spent a huge chunk of my day yesterday and today getting everything all clean at once.  And it feels good!  Pry won't last long, with two little stinkers running around, but I'll bask in the cleanliness while I can.

Photo - this photo makes me laugh.  Bobbi just sat like that, for a good 5 minutes - I mean, she was practically begging me to take a photo!  I posted it to Instagram, and my favorite comment I got from it was "Draw me like one of your French girls."  Oh Bobbi, you and your desire to do porn...

Hope everyone is looking forward to the summer and has some really awesome plans happening.  I am okay, still pregnant, still need a yard, yadda yadda, just not much to say, hence this boring post, but thought I might as well update anyway.

Bye!

Big Growth

Thought I'd document a picture of me at 22 weeks:

Brandon commented last week that my stomach looked sooooo much bigger, just overnight.  I hadn't thought much about it, but when I looked in the mirror, I realized that I looked way more pregnant than I even had a couple days earlier.  Later that day we went to a BBQ, and several of my family members all talked about how big I suddenly looked!  And...I think the baby is just growing like crazy right now, because I have been super tired and I've been getting a lot of braxton hicks contractions, and feeling kind of tight and crampy.  (Not crampy like I'm going into labor, just achy and grow-y and tired!)  Anyway, I know this is my 5th (YES FIFTH) pregnancy, so I'm going to show faster and get bigger faster, but I just have to say that for only being as far as I am, I am kinda stunned that I am this big!  Kind of embarrassed I can't like say I'm 7 months to account for the hugeness, but oh well.  :)

Happy 22 weeks Baby R!

My Little Grad

Cade's graduation was awesome today.  It's funny; people talk about how they cry on the first day of school, or cry at a graduation or something, and I never got it.  I never did.  Like, why would I cry on the first day of school when Cade is going to be away from me for a few hours every day and I get a break?  I mean seriously - I just don't get it!  I love Cade, but I love breaks, too, right, so why cry?  But, I'll tell you, this graduation got me.  It all started during the program, when Cade and his classmates started singing "What a Wonderful World."  I've always loved that song; it's even on my wedding video.  I think the lyrics are beautiful and idyllic and they always give me hope.  And then, during the ceremony, as Cade was walking up to get his diploma, the teacher was announcing to everyone what each child wanted to be when they grew up.  Apparently, all Cade wanted to be when he grew up was to be like his dad.  That got me choked up too!  And as Cade was walking back to his seat, with diploma in hand, as he passed us, he just gave Brandon this spontaneous hug - a big giant bear hug, and he was grinning from ear to ear.  Caden is not much of a touchy feely kid, especially in front of large crowds, so that was completely unexpected too.  I think it made Brandon's whole year.

So I got choked up again then, too.  I just thought it was so sweet that Cade only wants to be like his daddy when he grows up, and that he would be perfectly content with that.  And that is okay with me, too - I think Brandon is pretty cool.  :)

So, yeah, the program was great.  Afterwards, to celebrate, I took Cade to McDonald's and told him he could get a happy meal AND a chocolate shake - that's a big deal around here!  Then I took him to the park and met up with my sisters, and he is playing to his heart's content tonight with his cousin, then Brandon is going to have a sleepover with him tonight and play video games (snore) with him.  So, I think he's had a good day.  :)

Cade's come so far this year, and I think that's why I was a little emotional, too.  I can't believe that my oldest is going into first grade next year...it blows me away.  I used to worry about Cade a lot; with his anxiety and social problems, but I almost don't worry at all anymore.  He is bright and sweet and social and completely acclimated.  To think how much he's changed for the better in even just a year...it stuns me.  Last year at this time, I knew that Cade was repeating Kindergarten, but I was terribly worried about him.  He hated school, would hardly participate in class, and was grumpy and anxious all the time.  Now, he is happy and carefree and the little social butterfly in our neighborhood.  All the kids flock to him to be their leader, and they all want to play with him.  He is excelling in school and completely keeping up or even surpassing all the other kids his age with his school work.  I think this move has been so good for him.  In a lot of ways I wonder if the sole reason we felt like we just NEEDED to move out here was for him.  Cade is thriving here.  And that makes me really, really happy.  :)

Love my C boy.  Can't wait to have another little man, just like him.  <3 p="">

Summer Time

It's kind of funny, because this pregnancy has both gone by soooooo fast and sooooooo slowly.  I think, though, that of all my pregnancies, this one has gone by the fastest, and I anticipate that the last few months are going to fly by even more.  It is crazy to me that Cade only has one week left of school - I swear it was only yesterday that he was once again traipsing off to Kindergarten.  Tomorrow he has a little graduation ceremony at his school, and I am SO excited to go - it means even more to me, because Lil C has worked so hard to be where he is, and I couldn't be happier that he excelled this year in school and will be moving on to first grade next year with a worry-free mom.  I anticipate taking a lot of photos tomorrow, so be on the lookout for a post to come.  Cade even told me he had a speaking part at the graduation - and he is so excited!

Not sure yet what my summer is going to hold.  I know we'll be working on the yard a ton, but really, I don't have much else planned!  I think that before I get too giant and exhausted and hugely pregnant, I want to take the kids swimming a lot, because of course I love the pool and I love the sun.  I think that by August, I won't want to waddle myself to the pool, so I'll try to take advantage of it more in June and July.  I'm sad we don't have grass yet, because I would love more than anything to be able to just send the kids out in the yard to play and to get away from my side, but alas, not yet.  Landscaping an entire yard, especially a .5 acre lot, is soooo expensive, so we're just making our way a little at a time and doing some here and there as we have the time and money.  Our HOA has given us a deadline that the yard has to be finished by the last day of September, so ultimately by then, the basics at least should be done - curbing, grass, shrubs and plants and trees, etc.

I really need a new hobby or something.  Seriously - if any of you have ideas for things I could do to occupy my time during the day, I am all ears!  Of course there is the obligatory cooking and cleaning I do each day, but especially now that summer is fast approaching and I am going to be having a lot of time home with the kids, I want to find something I can do that is fun and that occupies time and that ideally doesn't really cost much money.  Of course I have reading, and I have writing, though I'm not doing much of that now - but does blogging count? - but what else?  I wish I was good at crafting or scrapbooking or something, but it seems that whenever I try to do homemakery stuff like that it ends up looking like garbage and pissing me off!  Hum.  I am glad that summer is here and that I'll have a break from the schedules and the early mornings, etc, but I also don't want to spend the entire time in my house and all hot and grumpy because I'm bored.  Any ideas?

Anyway, I suppose that's all for today.  I am off to nosh on some red and yellow peppers dipped in a delicious cream cheese dip - my new favorite snack!  Baby R seems to want me to only eat food that is going to make me giant and clog my arteries, so I'm fighting back with at least some semi-healthy food consumption too.  Seriously, Dunford Donuts, the one with the pretty colorful sprinkles...if I could eat a dozen of you a day, I would!

Long Hair is Back

Well, my hair is long again.  The cut was great, and I know that I looked fine with it, but my hair has been long for 10+ years and I couldn't acclimate to short hair!  And I was dying not being able to put it in a pony tail - so Brandon was very thoughtful with his gift to me for Mother's Day this year, to get me hair extensions!  It was kind of fun, and I've never had them before, so I thought, why not?  And I must say I really dig them.  They are a bit more maintenance than regular hair, but I am loving being able to pull it back.  And the extensions curl easier than my regular hair, so it's been super easy to curl it, which is a huge bonus.

And, I must say they look pretty natural!  What ya think?

And, just because it's adorable, here is a photo I snapped of Mila tonight when I got home.  She tuckered out on our bedroom floor.  Adorbs!

PS - In case you haven't noticed, I'm trying to blog a ton more, so make sure you check my blog daily for updates!  :D

Change is Scary

And THAT is the understatement of the century.  I have seriously spent a good chunk of the day crying and trying not to freak out, while pretty much just freaking out anyway.  There are lots of changes on the horizon and it is scary and hard for me.  Really hard for me.

Maybe I can share more in the next week or so, as things finalize and I know more of what is happening, but for now I probably shouldn't say much.

Obviously some change can be good - moving into our house, and having another baby, and recovering from the ED - all that is awesome - but the rest of it?  DON'T CHANGE DON'T CHANGE STAY THE SAME!!!!

I hate feeling so uneasy and unsure of my place in the world and what is going to be happening soon, and how I'm going to cope.

Sorry this is sort of vague, I just needed a general place to get out some anxiety without going into detail.  Prayers/good vibes wanted.

Thanks.

Baby R in 4D

I had an ultrasound done last week, and the tech took a few really awesome shots of the man chicken in 4D.  I'd actually NEVER had a 4D ultrasound with any of my previous babes, so I was super stoked to see the little guy this way.  I actually think 3D/4D ultrasounds make the baby look really creepy, but when it's your own kid, you just tend to ooh and aah and not be like, yeah, that's freaky - at least, not quite as much.  :)

Baby R looked great in the ultrasound - his heart and brain and other organs looked perfect, and he is nearly a pound already!  He is growing perfectly on track.  I've also passed the point where I lost Kendall, so while of course there is still an awful risk of losing him, because there always is, for every woman, and the risk is a bit higher for me, since I've already lost a baby late in pregnancy, I do feel relieved that awful milestone is over.

Also, just because I'm posting about the baby, thought I'd throw in my 21 week belly shot:

"Looks like your shirt is workin' real hard there..."

I am Juno today.  Am I 10 years too old to rock the skirt/jeans combo?  :)

Halfway there, Beeyotches

 I'm in my 20th week, which means this pregnancy suckage is halfway over.  I always worry that people are going to get offended when I talk about how awful I am at being pregnant, because they may think I'm whiny or ungrateful, but I am none of these things.  I am simply human.  I have lost a baby late in pregnancy, yet even with my subsequent pregnancies, I still struggle a lot with all the side effects that every woman has to deal with when prego - the weight gain, the worry I'm going to lose the little chum, the peeing every 10 seconds, the growing pains, etc etc.  So just as a general disclaimer: even when I complain, I still love my baby and am excited for him to get here!

Halfway through the pregnancy, things with the little guy I think are going well.  I'll know more tomorrow, when I go in for my big mid-pregnancy ultrasound, but as of my last ultrasound, everything looked well - his heart and vital organs appeared to be intact and whole, and he was growing great, etc. So I am SO happy he is doing well.  Puts my fears at ease a bit.

I am so not doing this pregnancy thing well, though.  I am EXTREMELY conflicted about all the weight I've gained.  I know I shouldn't worry about it, but that's like telling snow not to melt in Hell.  I have gained A LOT of weight so far.  Granted, when I started this preg I was underweight, so this is what was supposed to happen, it doesn't make it any easier.  I HATE the way I look.  I don't mind the baby bump so much, but I would be perfectly content if the giant boobs and thighs would go away.

My lungs are actually a little better - but don't get your hopes up and think that means that they're fantastic, because that's definitely not the case either - but, thankfully, they remain in a state that sucks, but doesn't suck badly enough for some big deal medical intervention.  I hope this trend continues for the remainder of the pregnancy.  I WILL NOT go back on the steroids, so if they get bad enough, I'll be hospitalized over going on those hellish pills again.  I refuse to be put back in the awful mindset that the steroids put me in.  I seriously wanted to die.  Thought VERY bad things.

I'm glad I have treatment throughout this pregnancy.  It's been extremely helpful to have my T to guide me through all of this.  She rocks and is really supportive.

We've chosen a name for the little guy - though I think for now, I'll keep it to myself.  My top choice for a name we ended up deciding not to use, because even though it's not super popular now, I am hearing it more and more, and I'm afraid that in a few years,  every other kid on the block will share his name.  So, we went with a different choice that I seriously love more and more each day.  It's pretty original; I've never met anyone with the name before, but it's also not so weird and out there that people will laugh at his name or make fun of him.  So, for now, on the blog, I'll just refer to him as "Baby R," or "My Little Man Chicken."  :)

Wow, this update ended up being much longer than anticipated!  I'll end with a delightful picture Brandon took last night of me and my Mila chicken.  She fell asleep in my arms, and I seriously never wanted to lay her in her crib...I just wanted to snuggle that sweet little thing all night.  I love sleeping babies.

Okay, I'm out.  Thanks for letting me vent.  Don't much get to do that anymore!

Swimsuit Chic

What a sassy baby.  I want to eat her!

Ugh

Man, life has kind of sucked lately.  Remember that adorable kitten maternity shirt and peg pants I was so excited about in my last post?  Well, they both were a total fail.  Both were HUGE on me!  Dang UK sizes!  I was so disappointed.  No cute kitty shirt for me, except maybe I'll make it a jammy shirt.  But such a waste of such a cute kitten!  :(

This has seriously been the longest week ever.  I've been so blue.  Just kind of sad and quiet and kindasortaweepy...I don't know.  Been rough.  Kind of a hard spot in the pregnancy because it is around the time I lost Kendall...so I get super paranoid and worrisome.  Everything looks great still for this pregnancy, but it is still a giant worry of mine.

I am happy spring is here...and that the warm weather is hitting fast!  That helps my mood.  But we still have no grass in my yard, so if the kids go out and play, they get really muddy or dusty and track it into my house.  I just want grasssssss.  Please!  Rah!

I feel so down about the way I look.  My giant prego body, my ugly everything else...gah...I know I sound awfully boring and pessimistic!  I'm sorry - must be my giant baby hormones.

Anyway.  So, just UGH.

The Nerdiest Maternity Outfit Ever

So, I've lamented a lot this pregnancy that all my pregnancy clothes are lame and boring and run-of-the-mill and too mom'ish, and I've hated having to dress myself every morning because I always feel like I look ugly and fat and uncool.

So I've been on the prowl for some cuter, more trendy maternity clothes.  I've found some pretty good stuff at Gap; scored some purpley/blue and coral skinny jeans, and a few other shirts, and H&M has some awesome skinny jeans that I absolutely love for pretty cheap...

But I still didn't feel content...
And then I realized why...

I NEEDED A KITTEN MATERNITY SHIRT.

The hunt was on!  I finally found just what I was looking for in a UK based online store that has a TON of maternity options, asos.com.

So, this is just what I ordered:

Here's the kitten shirt,

and, to go with it, I ordered these peg leg pants.

Okay, I know, peg leg pants?  Really Brie?  But honestly, I think they're kind of cute, and I know that if I wait to get a pair until I'm not pregnant anymore, then the trend will probably have come and gone by then, and I'll never get to try my hand at dressing like MC Hammer.

So they're in the mail, and I cannot wait!  I've had my eye on this kitten shirt for awhile, and when it finally went on sale, I decided to nab it.

I have a feeling that, like 10 years from now, my kids are going to see a picture of me in my kitten shirt, peg leg pants, sportin a baby bump, and they will shriek and ask me what the heck I was doing, and be terribly embarrassed by me.  I can't wait.  :D

Picture of outfit to come...