Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Sob Story

I seem to forget that my birthday, July 28th, may be God’s favorite day, but it also may be my least favorite day. I mean, first off, I know, and this is not an exaggeration, about eleven people who share the beloved anniversary with me of being expelled from our mother's uteruses. The Special Day ain't so special when everyone and their mother toe was born on July 28th. And even worse, I always cry on my birthday, always. Last year the entire day was spent at a funeral, and this year – this year it was without any deaths or wearage of black. But still, I cried. A lot. The morning was spent feeding the ducks with the Cadester, and then Bran came home early from work around 11:30 to celebrate with me. My sissy’s threw what we call a Secret Sister Birthday Lunch, though I’m not entirely sure why, seeing as it’s never a secret – like, ever. But it was held at the park, complete with birthday signs and balloons, and I appreciated it very much. My dad got me the most amazing bouquet of flowers, so many of you wished me a happy birthday, there was cake and ice cream in abundance…you know, the whole works...so what I’m really trying to say here is that there is no conceivable reason that I should have cried (nay, sobbed) on my birthday. But I did. Oh, I did.

Frankly, I suppose I’m glad it’s over. PLUS I’m now in my mid-twenties. That kind of makes me feel weird.

So, the crying jag I seem to be in is oh so annoyingly carrying over to today. Crying at work is the most aggravating thing, really. Bothersome tears. Go away, I say! (But when has my mind and crazy chemically imbalanced brain and hormones ever listened to a diz-amn thing I say?)

So today, I suppose I need to remember these very vital facts
  • This day, just like every other before it, will pass. Hurry, sun! Set! Go to bed so that I can, too.
  • Crying at work shouldn't be something one would actually get fired for. I may need to look at the Policies and Procedures on this one, but I think I'm still on un-firable ground, here.
  • I'm 37.497% sure you can't die from a panic attack.
  • Tomorrow I get to see Orville Redenbacher my psychiatrist, so just one day left to go before he can prescribe me some magical pills that just might make my tears go away.
  • They say crying actually makes you feel better. I'm still waiting, but whatever.
  • It could always be worse. I think.

Well folks, thanks for reading my sob story. I think I'm blatantly disregarding the Birthday Gods for crying on my uterus expellage day, but whatever. Sorry bros, methinks I have no control over my tears. I mean, my hell. I'd stop if I could.


Stacy said...

I didn't say it yesterday and so I won't now cause I don't want to make you cry. A) I hope the tears go away B)or that they make you feel incredibly amazing by tomorrow C) that you get a really great back rub or whatever from you man to make you feel better

mid 20s ain't so bad... then again I am not so sure about anything there after.

oh and D) you are at least HOT in your mid twenties :o) and the B-Day is OVER.

Krista said...

I read an article once about how toxins are released from your body through tears. Hopefully by now you are fully detoxified. I totally agree on the back rub thing. Play it up just for that! Feel better!

Laura said...

Well, at least Matthew Broderick would have sex with you...he likes girls in their mid twenties, so I hear! (and me thinks that Sara Jessica Parker is crying, too!! Should we call her and tell her that "the sun'll come out tomorrow!"?)

Buck up, little grasshopper..I am close to freakin 40! Wanna really cry? Come over and babysit my kids..they'll have your long, fantastic legs running back to SLC!

Penny said...

Despite every feeling that you are emoting, you still try to give us your readers some humor and insight that helps us do better too. You are an amazinag depressed person. All I ever did when depressed was cry at and over everything and I could think of nothing at all redeeming, so enjoy as you can the rest of the night and this too, will pass and being 24 is absolutely nothing at all.

Shannon said...

Dude, I share a birthday with everyone and their dog too! I use to not know that, I was so happy thinking that my special was MY special day. Now I have an old roommate, a brother in law, a friends husband, etc etc who all share it with me!

Dont worry, we all need a good cry every now and again. Why not on our birthday (and day after...)? No one can be mad if you cry on your birthday!

kristin said...

I'm sorry to hear that you cried on your birthday. A birthday should be special and I'm sorry that yours doesn't ever feel like that.

I hope your psych appointment goes well and that you can stop crying so much.

Take care, Brie.

love, kristin

Emily said...

So sorry that your birthday is not, and has never been, a special day for you.

KC Elaine said...

the one cool person from UCSD IOP was forever reminding us that tears release some kind of chemical in your body that helps you to feel better. so yeah...cry it out, girl. I'm sorry you feel so bad, I hope your psych can help. oops, I just commented on a sad post instead of a happy one! oh well.

Anonymous said...

The picture IS fabulous. I am full of jealousy. I always remembered your birthday parties as my favorite. Especially that one when I POOPED MY PANTS. One of my better childhood moments.

Arielle said...

Happy (belated) birthday! Sorry I'm late! Mid-20s isn't so bad. :) I'm in the same boat.

I think tears and birthdays often go hand in hand...

Much love,

Heather said...

Happy belated b-day Brie!! Sorry you felt so sucky. I cry on my birthdays too....pretty much every year. It's about the only time I seem to really do that god-awful sob cry.

Oh, and I beg to differ on the panic thing....I believe I actually CAN die from a panic attack!

I hope your week gets better!

Hey....do you want my cat???? Pretty please take him FAR away from me! He's getting on my last nerve right now and won't stop crawling all over me. He can be your late b-day gift :o enjoy!

Laur said...

I don't understand why you don't call me when you are in your dark hours with tears in your eyes. It makes me sad that you don't call me.

CookieGirl said...

hi sweets - we are almost birthday sisters! mine was yesterday, 29 July. sending love and happy thoughts your way xoxoxo

brie said...

Hey all,
The de-toxification I think is (hopefully) complete. I cried a lot again last night, but so far today, no tears!

Laur, hon, it's not that I don't just call you...I don't call anybody. Please don't take it personally, but this is just how I deal with things. I need to be alone for awhile, and then when I'm ready to share, I do.

xo to you all.

zubeldia said...

Hi honey, so sorry I've been out of the loop.. I'm here and thinking about you.

Birthdays can be terribly hard for many reasons, and they are for me, too. I sort of think they're not happening :-)

I think that crying can be such a good release, Brie, even while it feels awful and despairing, I think it can help. I'm here, hon. If not in the blog world too much, I'm on my phone and email.


Less Than Anonymous said...

I'm right there with you, it's good to know I'm not the only person under 40 who feels this way.
I love the idea though of instead of celebrating the day you were born, like, celebrating all of the summers you have, or favorite holidays,
eventually the tears hurt less
or so i've read in books

Anonymous said...

I cry on my birthday at least half the time. I think it can be a day of reflection and the reflecting can make people cry. I'm sorry you were sad. At least the day is over!

Abby said...

Aw, Brie, birthday tears are no fun, huh? I have some theories about why birthdays and crying often go together... my theories are too poorly thought out to explain them, but I guess I just want to say that I think the whole business of crying on one's birthday is perfectly legit and that the birthday gods should not have a problem with it.

As for sharing birthdays... well, I suppose it's part of life... although I certainly would not begrudge you a birthday all to yourself! However, your mention of sharing birthdays started me thinking... and this is what I have concluded: If we assume that people are equally likely to be born on any day of the year (which I am quite sure is not the case but which I do not have the energy to look into further), as of 6:13 a.m. GMT on July 31, 2008, we each share a birthday with exactly approximately 18,380,849 other people. (Exactly because it's a fairly exact calculation; approximately because I rounded to the nearest whole number, because I'm not convinced that the people at the US Census Bureau really know exactly how many people are alive at any given moment, and because I might have tried to figure this out in a way that didn't work. But yeah. You get the picture.)

As for being in one's mid-twenties... I'm completely freaked out that I've fallen into in this predicament. But you, my dear, at least have things to show for it! I fear that even if I were to achieve the feat of becoming a centenarian, I would still lack such basics as a husband and a man child!

In any case, I think the comment length police may be after me... thus, I shall cease.

Krystle said...

my birthday has always wrought some feelings of sadness as well, so I feel you. From one Leo to another (I turn 25 Aug 4th...holy moly lol)I hope your birthday was at least better than others, in retrospect. I am glad that you were still able to have some fun, and your husband and son sound wonderful. Hold on to them...They are reminders of how lovely and worthy you are, dear. :)

*Hugs & Well-Wishes*

emmy. said...

hey, love.

i'm sorry that you've been upset. i hate crying and not knowing why, especially when it's non-stop. at least you get to see your psychiatrist soon. it's so much worse when you feel like you're on your own.

on the good side, happy belated birthday! i was so excited when i saw that your birthday was on july 28th and couldn't wait to tell you, but then you said that apparently everyone's is, so it didn't seem so exciting. oh, and it's not everyone and their mom... i share my july 28th birthday with my dad ;) (no joke.)

jana bananas said...

This is directed towards different commenters, not just Brie.

OK, first of all: I share a birthday with my sister (she was born on my 3rd birthday). It's not a big deal. Try to think of your b-day as just another day. It makes things a lot easier.

Second, I'm going to be 32 in less than 2 weeks. THIRTY-TWO. And do I have a husband or man child? No. Does that mean I've failed? No. Does it mean I haven't accomplished anything in my life? No.

Third, mid-twenties? Please. You're youngins.

Abby said...

I am sorry.

I reread what I wrote a few comments above, and it indeed became clear to me that what I wrote is inexcusable. I'm not sure how I manage so often to forget that there are a lot of times and places that are not appropriate for me to joke around. I think I'll move this problem of mine nearer to the top of my mental list of things to work on. In any case, I messed up and am sorry.

(And--would it make this even worse if I deleted my regrettable comment, or should I get rid of it?)

zubeldia said...

oh jeepers, I'm 32, too :-)

brie said...

Wait, Abbs -

Why on earth would you apologize? I thought nothing at all of the comment, and as I just re-read it, I still could find nothing in it that was offensive.

Don't worry babe, you know I love and need humor - especially in my dark times! Plus, I'm floored that I share my birthday with over 18 million people. And, just for the record, I seem to know them all but two or three. :)

Please don't worry, and don't even think of deleting it!

Also--are you coming to the CFC alumni thing?

jana bananas said...

Abby, sorry I got snippy. I didn't really know you were joking -- since I don't know you & your sense of humor. It just made me think you were seriously saying you hadn't accomplished anything because you didn't have a man or baby yet, at your young age, as if that made you some sort of failure. And it made me feel like I had to defend myself as I am 32 with neither of these things.

Abby said...

Thank you all for being nice to me.

I seem to require embarrassingly frequent reminders that what is funny to me is often downright offensive and weird when conveyed via the internet to people whom I don't know... again, it's probably a good time for me to work on figuring out how to appropriately express my fondness for irreverent silliness....

Brooke said...

Thanks a lot Brie. Now I don't think that I'll ever be able to go to Oroville Redenbacher again I'll be laughing inside and I'm afraid it might come outside. Pray for me next time I go. I'm laughin so hard I'm going to peep my pants! Thanks for the laugh, I needed it tonight! I'm a FREAK fo shizzle.