Tuesday, July 15, 2008

200 is the Greatest Number Ever

Okay, well, technically I’m, like, at 210 posts, but this is still in celebration of my 200th. When I reached the 100th milestone, I wrote 100 things about me that you might not otherwise know. Because writing 200 would not only be a) impossible and b)impossibly boring, I’m going to try to think of some randomness about me that no one would otherwise ever learn had I not reached the 200th blogging landmark. And, don’t worry; the number of these will be nowhere near 200. Whew!

-I am a ghostwriter. Shhh! Don’t tell.
-I hate indoor plants. I feel like they’re sitting at my window sill, plotting my death. So, I don’t water them, and I have to slowly watch them die, and I feel awful and cry, but they scare me. A lot. So usually I keep them outside to avoid catastrophe and an untimely murder.
-I feel feminine, except when I look at my hands. And then I feel mannish.
-I’ve met Elijah Wood. He was really short, and I was in 4 inch heels. Can you say awkward much?
-Fluoride pills tickle the bridge of my nose.
-While vacationing in Hawaii, a Blue Whale surfaced about six feet from our boat. It was both the most amazing and most terrifying thing I had ever experienced up to that point.
-I enjoy the company of animals (usually) much more than that of humans.
-I have to make a daily, valiant effort to not speed while driving.
-As a kid, the worst chore I ever had to endure was feeding the horses. Especially in the morning before school, in the dead middle of winter. I’d fly to the bus stop, with hay in my hair and muddy, numb hands.
-Before we decided to name the mini-man Cade, we had decided on Ashton – and loved it for several months, until I started noticing way too many girls with that name.
-My mom almost named me Merin.
-My dad used to take me and my twin bro bowling every Saturday morning. I still have some of the best memories from those outings.
-I knew, by age three, that I was going to be a writer. I’d have dreams about crazy stories I was writing in my head, and I always was composing poems and reading voraciously.
-My favorite genres of movies are dark comedies. Garden State? Um, just one of the best movies ever.
-I will admit that I still love to read young adult fiction.
-I was an auntie by the age of five.
-Up until two months ago when I stole a large, over-stuffed duck, I had only ever stolen a pink pen from a pharmacy when I was five. I never used the pen because I was too guilt-ridden. ….Oh, and Cade technically stole the duck, but I was too tired to take it back. I’m so wearied of taking back the things that un-knowingly get tucked away in his stroller. Sunglasses seem to be his favorite thing to squirrel away, it seems.
-Going into IP for anorexia at age 17 saved my life – literally – but killed me, too. The inside of me.
-I refuse to write in a journal.
-Someone once asked if they could paint me nude, then use it for a tattoo on their shoulder. I was flattered.
-I no longer model, but I’ll admit that at times I am still enamored with the profession.
-My favorite catch-phrase used to be “cool beans.” I said it, like, a thousand times a day.
-When I played volleyball, instead of swearing, my friend and I started to yell JIMMY like a curse word. It was strangely satisfying.
-I have a deep, disturbing, and abiding love for all things X-Files. The 2nd movie is coming out just in time for my birthday in a couple of weeks and I couldn’t ask for a better gift. Well, except for David Duchovny himself, in all his irresistibly awkward and side-burned glory.
-I have five older sisters. And, believe it or not, I may be the most normal one.
-I thoroughly enjoy pink, yellow, coral and gray ANYTHING.
-Cool colors make me feel blue (especially when I wear them).
-When I do yoga, I look like a giraffe. 37 inch legs are not made to be flexible. I am trying my damndest to fight nature.
-I scored a perfect 5 on my AP English test. You don’t even want to know what I got on my Spanish one.
-Despite low Spanish test scores, I took the language for six years and understand it quite well. I have an elementary ability with the language and could get by if (heaven forbid) I was ever dropped in the middle of Mexico with nothing but some pesos and a death wish.
-I once beat up a kid in 4th grade who was being a douche bag to my twin brother.
-I like to lose my voice. I think it’s fun.
-I was four years old when I had my first kiss. Some kid in preschool stole it from me. My first real kiss, however; was when I was…15, I think. At prom. My twin brother was watching from the window, and I went in and sobbed for an hour before falling, miserably, asleep.
-As an infant, I played an excellent Baby Jesus in the Christmas pageant one year. That’s about as extensive as my acting resume goes – though I did win a Covergirl commercial contest one time. But does smiling a lot and saying Easy, breezy, beautiful. COVERGIRL count?
-I consider myself to be marginally famous because I’m in a couple of runway shows that are on youtube.
-I can type about 95 WPM on a good day. My dad made me take typing class as a kid, and now I’m glad he did.
-Video games that involve war and shooting people scare the hell out of me and have given me anxiety attacks on more than one occasion.
-The first nightmare I can ever remember having involved a coke machine and a monster that came out of the sink. Scared me for weeks, that one.
-I still don’t know how I got so lucky as to marry My Man.
-Spread rumors and gossip made me not leave my house for awhile a few years back.
-Red Robin es un ristorante muy delicioso. See. Told you about the Spanish.
-I still love talking about the fact I got beat up in a movie theater. Who else can say that’s happened to them? I have as of yet to encounter someone.
-This is, hands down, the best blog post I’ve ever read.
-Ducks and cats are my totems. But you already knew that. My hubby finds it ironic that one of my totems eats the other one. Is their something symbolic there that I should be gleaning?
-When I was 13 I had a nephew who always told me my arms were hairy, “like his grandpa.” I started shaving them for awhile after that. And really? They don’t look that bad. Really.
-I have had people ask me if I was Mexican, Japanese, from the Hawaiian islands, Italian, Native American, etc. No one could believe it when I said I was just plain old Caucasian. Apparently I have a “worldy” look to me. But Japanese? Really?
-Everyone in my family calls me the P&J which apparently stand for pride and joy. Funny. I think they mean S&R for screwup and reject. This isn't self-pitying. This is true. I'd say my twin bro is the P&J, or maybe my doctor brother off saving lives in Germany.
-My first car was like a '90 Isuzu Trooper. That old sweetie was fun. She was a stick-shift, and I'm so happy I learned to drive a manual transmission. Brett kept her so clean and pretty and he got to name her since he put more (okay, all) money into it. He named her Britney, and there were all these pics of Britney Spears in the car - it was back in her glory days when Oops I Did it Again was huge. And boys have testosterone. And she was gorgalicious, so I didn't debate the name.
-I almost died when I was five. Looking back on it now, it makes me sad because I see how much it's impacted me - how scared I was/am of the world, and how it seems so uncertain and so fallible.
-When I was 15, I was diagnosed with CFIDS. I'm still unsure on if it's a real disease or not. Maybe I should Wickipedia it.

...Okay, well, I guess that’s about it. I’ve been working on this post very slowly for over a week now, and I’m so ready to publish it and be done. Go 200!

Oh, and sorry for the lack of pics in the post to make things more interesting. I lost my camera, and my mom gave me her old one, but I still haven't figured out how to use it. I swear there's more to it than just pushing the shutter button. I swear.


Krista said...

I think the vagina bag story is now my favorite post ever too! Laura that was hilarious! Great post Brie!

kristin said...

I'm totally obsessed with The X-Files, too! OMG! I am sooooo excited for July 25th! I am going to the theatre for a 12:01 am showing for sure!

Take care, Brie! :)

brie said...

Kristin? You like the XF? No way! So does Emily (from A Mind Devoured). That's actually how she and I met...long story...

Anyway, I of course have all nine seasons and know every name of every episode and can tell the season just by looking at Scully's haircut.

I can't wait for the new flick - I'll be at a 12:01 showing for sure, too. It's nice to have another XF fan around here...

Kathy with a K said...

I have 37 inch legs too! (if you include the seven inches from the top of my hip to the top of my leg)

In addition to young adult fiction, I regularly read Teen Vogue.

I'm old enough to be your mother. Ridiculous, but true. Which, I just realized, means I'm also old enough to be Cade's grandmother. Wish I was stupid enough not to be able to have figured that out.

I have two younger sisters. You're in love with one of them. I give her all her material. She'd be so boring without me.

zubeldia said...

very cool list, my friend. I hope you expand on some of these points.. especially the ghost writing and how tx both saved you and killed you. For what it's worth, I've very glad you're alive.

LOVE you

brie said...

Kathy...I'm in love with you too, of course. I'm thinking I should meet this last sister of yours...we could have a foursome!

Eek. Did I take it too far? I did, didn't I?

Z, I will expand on some of these...ah...but maybe in a personal email rather than on my blog? Hmmm. I'll have to give this some thought.

Krista said...

I had the same thoughts as Z about tx and I also wondered about the rumor thing too. If I'm not imposing I would love hear more about them too.

Brett said...

I forgot I named the good ol' Trooper Britney. I had more pics of her than any of my friends! (I guess I shouldn't be proud of that)

As far as watching your first kiss, I think I was hiding in the bushes, hehe. Wasn't it Jonny boy?

Finally, thanks for beating up the "kid" in 4th grade for me. I think the "kid" was a girl, Andrea Roberts. Remember she used to call me like 10 times a day? I was a cute little 4th grader who was scared of girls, and she was VERY persistent. Thanks for the help Sis!!

brie said...


Yes it was Jonny, and YES you were spying.

Also, did I beat up Andrea Roberts?? I remember being ticked...I was thinking of those little jerks who were making fun of you when you dislocated your elbow. I still fill up with this rage when I think about it...

Anonymous said...

Brie and Brett:
# 1- I remember the dislocated elbow, vividly. It scared me, I thought Brett was a goner. Then some teacher came and popped it back in, right?
#2- My first car was Veronica. Car #2 was Britney because I saw her as the dream car of a 14 year old girl who read seventeen magazine and loved britney spears.

Brett said...

I forgot about the whole dislocated elbow thing. Yeah. . . they were pretty rude too! I think Andrea Roberts made me cry because she yelled at me for never calling her. I can't believe I actually cried. . . at least i was only 9.

Laura said...

OK, first of all, my vagina and I am sooo flattered....

second of all, I have know idea who Kathy with a K even is...how crazy for her to even suggest that I get anything from her...and she looks really short to me. Almost hobit-like. I'd be careful...

and finally, the fourth sister is in NJ, and has never heard of a blog...but she is a slut, so a foursome sounds perfect!

Stacy said...

the hand me down camera... I bet one of the steps is turning it on too. Maybe that will help you figure out how to use it.

I am sorry, my husband says I am mean. I would say anything if I didn't love you, really.
Good luck with the camera GO YOU for 200 posts and looking forward to new pix. Your writing seems like it is growing in happiness :o)

brie said...

Laura...oh geez, I'm laughing so hard right now...it feels...weird. I haven't done it very much lately. :)

First off, if The Slut's the fourth sister, am I the third? Also, I'm a slut too, so I'm absolutely okay with this arrangement!

Secondly, it's not your vagina I love. It's the Italian woman's. Technically.

K, I didn't know you were a hobbit? ;) However, I do like hobbits, just not when I'm standing next to them in 4 inch stilettos!

Laura said...

yeah, I am not too good with numbers..but sure, you be the third sister, the slut can be the 4th, the foodie the 2nd, and we'll let the hobit be the first.

Oh! And a side note here...my husband and I are so excited for the X files! We were thinking about naming our 2nd child FOX, if it were a boy! But when we asked our 2 year old to say FOX, it sounded just like FUCK.

kristin said...

YOU HAVE ALL NINE SEASONS!??! OMG! One day we totally need to hook up and have one big kick ass XF marathon!

Shannon said...

Ok that is hilarious. I just went and read the vagina blog. Wow. I love it. Sounds like something my mom would carry around.

Also, I'm glad to hear I'm not the only educated person who loves to read young adult fiction...hello Meg Cabot. I count Garden State in my top 10 movies for sure. "Don't make fun of my hobbies. I don't make fun of you for being an asshole." Defintely a fav quote. :) Yay for 200 posts!

Kathy with a K said...

Ya'know, I leave the computer for a few hours and suddenly I'm being called a freakin' hobbit!
I'm 5'3". I'm also the tallest sister. (not including you, Brie).

KC Elaine said...

I can't stay away from your blog. I love this list! loves it!

Tanya said...

LOL...that bag store was hilarious...

And I will admit to reading youth and young adult fiction :) So you are definitely not alone.

BTW I was sent a link I think you would enjoy...http://www.spokane.net/stay_connected/HotTopics_DuckHero.aspx
The ducks are okay :)

Stacy said...

Q. are you going to the alumni thing in august??

KC Elaine said...

I too love youth/ YA fiction. have you read tale of despereax? or a ride into morning?

brie said...

Stacy...YES I'm going to the CFC alumni thing. I'm excited to see you!

Ky...no I've never read either of those, but thanks for the titles - I'll look into them. Speaking of good YA books...I just finished Two Moons. Please read it - it's amazing and made me feel so, so good afterward. I cried, but in a good way.

Laura - shutup about the Fox thing. I would have loved to have named Cade Fox, but husband would never have gone for it. Boo!

Jackie said...

I loved this Brie, absolutely loved it!! :)

xo Jax