34 Weeks

Here's a few pics from this week.  Sorry, no full update this week.

Waddle Me This

Last night, at the Salt Lake Arts Fest, Brandon was walking really fast.  I was behind him, winded and pregnant, and asked him to wait for me.
 "I can't walk as fast as you," I said to him, and he said in reply, "Walking?  Huh.  So that's what you're calling it."
I replied, confused, with, "What?"
And then he said, as gently as possible to let me down easy: "Honey, you're not walking.  You're waddling."

Shutup, jerk.

Name Crisis

Help!  I thought I was SO SET on Avery Jane...and now the uncertainties are creeping in.  I heard another name the other day that just hit me - WHAM - and I LOVE it.  No matter what, our little chica's middle name is going to be Jane, but...I'm thinking more and more about this new first name, and really considering it.

The problem, of course, is that I have a husband, so I don't get to make the decision myself.  And while Big B likes this new name alright, he (understandably) likes Avery more - he's been pretty set on it too.

So now...maybe I'll just have to decide when I actually see my little bebe to know if she is a Baby A or a Baby M.  I'm so confuzzled!  I'm such a planner, so not knowing what her name is going to be for sure drives me insane.

OF COURSE I do this 8 months into this.  I did the EXACT same thing with Cade - for almost the entire duration of my pregnancy, we were set on naming him Ashton.  And then I freaked out and we changed it, last minute.  WHY AM I DOING THIS AGAIN?!

Lagoon 2011

Brandon and Cade and I had so much fun going to Lagoon on Saturday.  Brandon's employer was sponsoring a day for everyone in the company to go, so we enjoyed being able to go for free, which is awesome because Lagoon is ridicufreakishly expensive these days. 

I, of course, couldn't ride any rides because I'm "fo' shiz up the spout," but I wanted to go anyway and be with Cade and be apart of his memories - I mean, if he remembers this day at all, I hope he remembers that his mama trekked the park with him while 7 1/2 months pregnant, just to be with him.  You know?  And we had fun!  I did a lot of sitting on benches, but it was really fun to see Cade so happy and so excited.  That made the whole trip worth it, right there.

Anyway, we still don't have a camera, but I managed to snap a few pics with my camera phone to document the day.  Here some of them are:

 In line for the first ride of the day...

Daddy and Cade riding Puff the Magic Dragon.  This was Cade's favorite ride, and he was so excited to ride it all week.  He keeps asking me to sing the song, but I don't know the lyrics, so I keep making up verses laced with drug innuendos that Cade doesn't get.  ;)

 Riding the train.  Also, my hair?

33 Weeks

How Far Along: 33 weeks.

Size of baby: According to BabyCenter, she weighs just over 4 pounds and has even passed the 17 inch mark. She’s definitely running out of room in my tummy – Cade was only 18 inches long when he was born, so to think of this bebe getting nearly that big…wow. She’s coming soon! (Compare her this week to a pineapple.)
Total Weight Gain: I’ve tried to be really creative every time I answer this question, but really…how many ways can I say that I don’t know? So. Moving on.
Maternity Clothes: It’s been all maternity, all the time, for a looooong time now. I even have a couple of maternity shirts I can no longer wear because they aren’t long enough to cover my tummy.
Gender: Girl! Avery Jane!
Movement: I had a scare early last week where I just wasn’t feeling her move as much, but she’s making up for it now. Also, for the remainder of my pregnancy I will be getting NST’s, so I can be reassured that she is okay and as active as she needs to be.
Sleep: It’s just getting worse and worse. I’ve actually started taking my Ambien in the middle of the night when I wake up, around 4ish am, because if I don’t, I’ll be up for the rest of the night. It’s helping a bit, which is good, but I really can’t remember the last time I just had a nice calm night where I slept entirely through the night.
What I miss: I miss my body not feeling so foreign to me. Having a 4 pound parasite in there is really weird and hard sometimes. Everything from my appetite to the way I walk feels off kilter and just plain strange. I also miss with a fiery passion being able to lie on my stomach. Dear readers, never take this for granted! Sleeping on my side hurts my back, and sleeping on my back I HATE.
Cravings: Lotsa fruit this week. I have seriously probably consumed an entire watermelon this week (I’m noshing on it as I type this).
Symptoms: Lotsa peeing, (and I mean lotttssssaaaaa) I’m getting this pregnancy waddle down, back pain, Braxton Hicks contractions, and a complete inability to paint my toenails.
Best Moment of the Week: Sitting on those comfy NST chairs and being reassured that Avery is thriving. I was also eating a mini Twix bar while getting the test done, and for some reason that just tasted randomly really really good. NOW I WANT A TWIX.
Appointments This Week? I am scheduled to get an NST done on Thursday, but won’t see my OB unless there is a problem. I have plenty of other appointments though, from therapy to dietary to lung stuff. Interested in hearing about them? ;) Also, the following Thursday I have an ultrasound scheduled, and we’ll also discuss my birth plan, so I am muchos excited for this appointment.
What I’m looking forward to: HAVING THIS BABY.
One Thing I've Learned This Week: That I’m getting tired of doing this little survey, honestly. Maybe I need to come up with a new one? Sorry if you’re as bored reading this, as I perhaps am filling it out. It’s really important to me to document this pregnancy, but maybe I need to find a more creative way to do it? Ideas?
Pictures from this week:

 Parked on a bench at Lagoon.

 Me and my bun rockin' it with Cade on the train.

Big belly at 33 weeks.

An Apology of Sorts

I’ve been thinking about my post that I wrote earlier this afternoon. I’ve been thinking that I feel a bit like a sulker and a whiner of the highest sort. I feel I am coming off as ungrateful, and only focusing on how fat I think I am and how miserable I am, rather than the good in this situation. Here I am, pregnant after eleven months of trying, and after the devastating loss of Kendall, and all I’m doing is complaining.

So, for the record, I just have to say…

I am so incredibly blessed to be carrying Avery. Every morning, when I wake up and look at my burgeoning belly, I literally thank God and marvel that she is still inside me and still healthy and still thriving.  Every time I think of the soft hair I'll feel when she comes out, and see those dark eyes, and maybe she'll have a dimple in her left cheek like her big brother...I smile in anticipation.  I cannot wait, Avery, until you are mine and you are safely in my arms.

Yes, I am miserable – physically, I am going through a lot of changes, and combine that with the steroids and the hormones, Mama’s a little unstable. BUT that doesn’t change the fact I’d go through all this over and over and over again, if I had to, to bring Avery into this world healthy and strong and safe.

So let it be known, that while I am a champion whiner, I am a grateful champion whiner. Avery, I love you.

I Suck at Being Pregnant

My lungs, unfortunately, continue to suck. I had an appt with my OB yesterday, and they were once again concerned that they weren’t functioning as well as they should be both for me and Baby A. I was also worried because over the past two or so days, I hadn’t felt her move as much – the little bugger just would not move, no matter how much orange juice and caffeine I drank to wake her up, or even despite pushes and prods to my tummy.

So, because of her decreased movements, they sent me to get an NST done (non-stress test) to make sure that Avery was okay and also that I wasn’t having contractions. (Avery passed the test with flying colors.) My OB then called my pulmonologist, and they have decided that for the remainder of my pregnancy, I am to be on steroids to keep my lungs working. This is problematic for a few reasons:

1. The steroids I’m on are not meant to be taken long term. I’ve taken them many times in the past, but it has always been for a week or two at most – just long enough to jumpstart my lungs. Being on them long-term is not ideal because you get all sorts of sucky side effects on these pills, including bone density loss, and my least favorite side-effect, increased hunger and thirst. Also, there is an increased risk of pre-term labor, but they are not as worried about that, since I am 32 weeks, and Avery is growing fine.

2. So, I’m pregnant. That right there gives me a free pass to be as emotional and hormonal as I need to be, and trust me, I’m a hot mess. But combine that with a high dose of steroids, and I am stark raving mad. I swear. I’ll cry at the drop of a hat and I’m HOT and hungry and thirsty and if you look at me wrong I’ll either burst into tears or bite your head off. So beware.  Also, with all the steroids I'm on, I'm wondering if Avery is going to come out looking like a body builder?

I have to get NST’s done weekly for the remainder of my pregnancy, to continue to make sure A is okay despite this lung stuff, and in 2 weeks I am going back for another ultrasound to monitor A’s growth. I was measuring a bit small yesterday, which completely surprises me because my stomach is SO GIGANTIC. Also, when I see my OB next, she said we are going to come up with a birth plan to get this baby out of me. I have a feeling that they’ll induce me early, as my asthma is just not getting better despite all the lung meds I’m on. For some women who have asthma and are pregnant, their asthma tends to get worse, and that looks like that’s the case with me.  Just my luck, of course.

So, I’m miserable. I’m hot and hungry and can drink about a liter of Diet Coke (caffeine free of course, for the babe) at a time. I’m big and getting bigger and I can hardly bend over. My back is killing me, and I have heart burn up the wazoo. If I walk up a flight of stairs, I can’t breathe. Sentimental commercials and email forwards make me cry.
Don’t I sound like so much fun to be around? :/

I absolutely suck at being pregnant. :(