I know I have been a terrible blogger lately, and I apologize. I am waaaay behind on reading and commenting on blogs, and Blogxygen has also been really neglected lately. I guess that's what two kids, a new job, and moving into a new house will do to you. On a scale of 1-10, my stress level is at a 27. I am having a hard time coping.
So I'm going to give you all a bit of an update on what's been happening, with some random pics that have been taken over the course of the week thrown in there, just to spice things up. :)
Photo - Blowing bubbles with Mila...
I am BEYOND stressed with house stuff. They say that moving is like one of the top 3 most stressful things you ever go through, and I never got it. But now I do. I am excited to move into this beautiful new home, don't get me wrong, but I am also phenomenally stressed with stupid loan stuff, and moving into a new city where I know no one and am not familiar with the environment. I've lived in the area I'm currently at all my life, so moving even 40 minutes away is waaaaay out of my comfort zone, and, quite simply, I am scared.
Photo - Just comparing my kids at one year old - they look SOOOO alike to me! Look at those eyes.
We are most likely moving next weekend (stupid &%!# loan stuff got in the way of our original move in date of July 30th) so I still have a week to pack up the house and get my crap together. I think that as soon as we actually get in the house, things will calm down and be so much easier. But I am scared and stressed when everything is new and up in the air. Not coping well with it.
I'm in a major funk lately. It is hard for me to want to get out of bed. It is hard for me to smile throughout the day and do energetic things with the kids. It is hard for me to want to do anything productive; all I want to do is lie down and bury my face in my cats and cry. But, I am a mom, and I have two little kiddos relying on me, so I can't do that.
Photo - Daddy kisses.
In good news, I am lovvvvviiing me some Olympics! Cade informed me that his favorite Olympic event is "gymchapsticks." Goofy kid. :)
Eating disorder stuff is...meh...going okay. I am slowly gaining weight. I saw my dietician yesterday and while I gained, she was disappointed in the number - she was hoping I would have gained more. That bummed me out because you know I'm really trying, and I think ANY gain is good, but she wasn't pleased. I feel physically ill ALL the time because of how much I am eating and how many Boost Pluses I am chugging every day. So I'll get there. I feel fat and wrong and disgusting and bad, but I'm doing it for my kids. For Cade and Mila. For me, because I deserve more than this.
Photo - Mila in the wildflowers. I am going to blow this up huge and hang it in the new house. Her beauty takes my breath away.
I still have two posts that need to get up - Mila's first birthday, and my birthday and seeing "Wicked" - I will try to get them up before next week when we move. So stay tuned!
Photo - Last night the fam hiked Albion Basin to see all the wildflowers. It was beautiful and nice to spend some time with my kids and hubby, without worrying or talking about the house...
Thanks for all your love and support. You are rad.
7 comments:
I am so sorry that you are struggling my dear. If you need help moving let us know, we are closing this week too! However, we have our apartment until the end of Sept, so we are taking it slow. Your little miss is soooooo freaking cute! You MUST blow that wildflower photo up of her! Incredible shot!
<3
Sorry things are so hard. You have so much going on - it's no wonder you are stressed out!
In other news, my 18 month old son is sitting on my lap. When I scrolled down to the photo of Mila in the wildflowers he was mesmerized, pointing and saying 'oooh' over and over. I think he is in luuuuuuurrrvvvveee :)
I hope things start to settle down once you move in to your new house :)
Moving is mega-stressful, but the feeling when you're all unpacked and settled in to a new place is absolutely second to none. You will feel so fresh and I imagine it will be so liberating for you guys!
Moving somewhere new, where you don't know anyone is so intimidating... moving to the US (even if just from Canada) was one of the hardest things I've experienced, because starting over is hard and intimidating and scary and so, so overwhelming. But there also comes a sense of pride when you are able to set up a new home for your family in a new place, and able to accomplish all those new experiences in a new place.
As scary & intimidating as it is, I really believe you will feel so happy and liberated and proud of yourself once you're all moved in and settled! :)
And... ED-wise... proud of you for the gain, even if it's not as much as the D wanted. I'd say in the early stages of jumping back on the weight gain wagon, a gain is a gain to be proud of.
Also, love the pictures. Cade & Mila look SO similar in their baby pictures! They're both so beautiful!
... sorry for the long comment!
<3
Hang in there, you'll make it through strong. Would it help to reframe the location? In LA, 40 minutes is just a commute to another neighborhood. But I hear you, moving, recovery, etc is so difficult. I'm in the process of moving to NYC and it's a LOT to coordinate. Feel free to write/call/text any time. <3
Sending good thoughts and prayers your way. You are a beautiful, smart, strong, wonderful woman who deserves the best in life. Sorry you're struggling.
Moving is tough......even if it's to a beautiful new house! I'm sure you know this, but the first few weeks probably will continue to be a challenge. At least until you are all unpacked and have acquainted yourself with the area. BUT, you have so many friends and family who I'm sure wouldn't mind driving out to you and helping out. If I still lived there, I sure would! It'll take time, but be patient. This time next year you'll probably wonder what all the fuss was about!
When I moved to CA, and after I had James, I joined a couple Mother's Clubs in our area and through them, was able to get more familiar with my new city and make some new friends in the process. It was so stressful making new friends when I was already stressed out with our move, but it turned out to be a really great thing. Maybe look into something like that?
Love u Brie! U rock! I absolutely love the pic of mila and the wild flowers looks professional. Call or text tomorrow. I love u.
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