I know I have been a terrible blogger lately, and I apologize. I am waaaay behind on reading and commenting on blogs, and Blogxygen has also been really neglected lately. I guess that's what two kids, a new job, and moving into a new house will do to you. On a scale of 1-10, my stress level is at a 27. I am having a hard time coping.
So I'm going to give you all a bit of an update on what's been happening, with some random pics that have been taken over the course of the week thrown in there, just to spice things up. :)
Photo - Blowing bubbles with Mila...
I am BEYOND stressed with house stuff. They say that moving is like one of the top 3 most stressful things you ever go through, and I never got it. But now I do. I am excited to move into this beautiful new home, don't get me wrong, but I am also phenomenally stressed with stupid loan stuff, and moving into a new city where I know no one and am not familiar with the environment. I've lived in the area I'm currently at all my life, so moving even 40 minutes away is waaaaay out of my comfort zone, and, quite simply, I am scared.
Photo - Just comparing my kids at one year old - they look SOOOO alike to me! Look at those eyes.
We are most likely moving next weekend (stupid &%!# loan stuff got in the way of our original move in date of July 30th) so I still have a week to pack up the house and get my crap together. I think that as soon as we actually get in the house, things will calm down and be so much easier. But I am scared and stressed when everything is new and up in the air. Not coping well with it.
I'm in a major funk lately. It is hard for me to want to get out of bed. It is hard for me to smile throughout the day and do energetic things with the kids. It is hard for me to want to do anything productive; all I want to do is lie down and bury my face in my cats and cry. But, I am a mom, and I have two little kiddos relying on me, so I can't do that.
Photo - Daddy kisses.
In good news, I am lovvvvviiing me some Olympics! Cade informed me that his favorite Olympic event is "gymchapsticks." Goofy kid. :)
Eating disorder stuff is...meh...going okay. I am slowly gaining weight. I saw my dietician yesterday and while I gained, she was disappointed in the number - she was hoping I would have gained more. That bummed me out because you know I'm really trying, and I think ANY gain is good, but she wasn't pleased. I feel physically ill ALL the time because of how much I am eating and how many Boost Pluses I am chugging every day. So I'll get there. I feel fat and wrong and disgusting and bad, but I'm doing it for my kids. For Cade and Mila. For me, because I deserve more than this.
Photo - Mila in the wildflowers. I am going to blow this up huge and hang it in the new house. Her beauty takes my breath away.
I still have two posts that need to get up - Mila's first birthday, and my birthday and seeing "Wicked" - I will try to get them up before next week when we move. So stay tuned!
Photo - Last night the fam hiked Albion Basin to see all the wildflowers. It was beautiful and nice to spend some time with my kids and hubby, without worrying or talking about the house...
Thanks for all your love and support. You are rad.