Friday, February 17, 2012

Intuitive Eating for Me

Yesterday I kind of thought I was dead.  I was THAT sick.  I was so sick that I didn't send Cade to school, because the idea of mustering up enough energy to get him dressed and driven to school made me want to weep.  So instead, I slept.  A lot.  Like 16 hours a lot. 

Today I feel better.  Not all better, but better, and I'll take it, as yesterday it felt like the entire universe was taking a giant dump on me.  Today I still feel sick but not like I would like to promptly puke and then die.  Baby steps.

So, the dietary thing.  I think I've pinpointed my problem with dietary coinciding with my whole distaste for the idea of intuitive eating.  I think it's a great "idea," but that's just it - it seems like only an idea to me - an elusive, ethereal "idea" - and not something that can actually be put into practice and work for me.  I also have a bad taste in my mouth about intuitive eating because of some crap from the last treatment center I was at.  So I told all this to my dietician, and we decided that I'm going to try one last time to do this intuitive eating thing, and I'm going to try to figure out what intuitive eating means for me, and not what it means for my last treatment center, or even for my therapist and dietician now, or even what some of my peers who are in recovery think intuitive eating is.  I want to figure it out for myself.  And I committed to my dietician that I would do it.  So, today I went and bought the book.  I had to buy a 2nd copy because my first copy may have been mysteriously vandalized, defaced, and thrown away...
Ahem.
I'm going to re-read the book with the idea that I'm going to give it a second chance, and hopefully understand it more with this new place in recovery I find myself in.  I'm also going to highlight every part that I disagree with, and bring it in to my dietician so that we can talk about it and figure it out and work through it.

So, for now, I am still going to go to dietary every week.  It may be because of this whole new looking at intuitive eating with Brand New Recovered Eyes, but it may also be because my therapist is demanding it.  More or less.
Ahem.  Man, my throat must have a frog in it... ;)

I hope you all have a great weekend.  I'm going to spend time with friends and the fam, so that should be rad.  Maybe I'll even brush Hairy's lustrous coat, if I'm lucky.  And maybe if I'm even luckier, I'll feel 100% better.  High hopes, I know, but a girl can dream...

Ciao, my precious kittens.

10 comments:

Traci said...

I need to learn this intuitive eating thing too. I don't have an eating disorder but I'm always either gaining weight or trying to lose weight. I wish I just knew how much I was suppose to eat without counting calories or thinking too hard about it. What freeing thought and way to live. I think I should read that book.

Katie said...

I love that book! It helped me a lot.

Erin said...

Sounds like a good plan. I know it sounds crazy and all, but Brie, I don't think you really want to live the rest of your life on a meal plan. I think that sounds semi-miserable...

Agrace12 said...

Good luck with the IE. It is a great book. I wish I was ready for it. I have a meal plan right now since my hospital stay last summer. I am still not good at it, so I am not ready for the IE yet. That is my goal! Sounds like you have a great plan! I am glad I found your blog! I look forward to following you!

Alie said...

Hope you're feeling better! Good luck with the IE. Sounds like a tough challenge, but it seems (from your previous posts, anyway) that when you've got a challenge in front of you, you rise to meet it, even if the road is rocky. I hope it goes better for you this time than in the past!

allegri said...

Praying that your road gets a lot smoother for you. I hope this book helps you the way it helped me, I hated it at the time. In fact, the first 1/2 of the book made me NOT want to eat. But it helped in the long run. Massive prayers. Love love.

Heather Lindquist said...

I never liked the idea of IE. I balked at the thought of it and resisted it for the first year I tried it. It wasn't easy, but I can honestly say now, years later, it helped bring me out of my ED funk. Now I don't even have to think about it.....it's second nature to IE. A meal plan felt safe, but IE brought me normalcy....something much freer than safety. I don't believe it works for everyone, but it did for me (I never would have guessed in a million years I'd be saying that). I'm glad your giving it a shot! If it doesn't work for you, you'll find something that does.

Cammy said...

I need to reread that book too, I suppose. I read it and thought it all sounded great, but couldn't fathom actually pulling it off myself. Although that was years ago. Anyway, I'm SO glad that you're being proactive in giving it another chance and are staying in dietary, I think that's a really good move.

I hope you're feeling better today!!!
<3

bri said...

I love u Brie and can't even begin to express how much I miss u it hurts! Love u!!!"

IJustDontKnow said...

Hi Brie. I just want to say I'm proud of and cheering for you to give the IE a solid try. I'm sure it will take time and a lot of patience so hang in there. You've come so far and I know you'll keep pushing through. PS - Love the family pictures! <3