On What the Prospect of A Discount Will Do To America:

It makes them go insane. Certifiably.
Raving middle-aged mothers will rip off your left arm if you're clutching the last Tickle Me Elmo that her six year old whiner insists on getting for Christmas.
So, wow.
Last night I had the lapse in judgemennt for the second year running to amble on over to the mall at midnight for some Black Friday shopping. Yes folks, I sad midnight. And while my experience pushing away desperate fellow americans out of my personal space vastly was improved over my malnourished body nearly getting crushed in a mob last year, while I and my two best friends shared a bottle of anti-anxiety meds, it was still quite unpleasant, but completely irresistible.
Why is this?
I, like my fellow desperate american mothers, was stalking a deal.
The Deal To End All Deals.
And, well, I found it!