Sunday, July 24, 2011

A Last Letter

Dear Kendall,

Well, this is it.  Your baby sister is due to arrive in just 2 1/2 days.  I've been thinking about you a lot lately, with such bittersweet feelings.  It's so important to me that you know how much I love you, and that you know that your little sister is NOT replacing you.  People tell me I'm so lucky to finally be getting my baby girl, but what they don't get is that I already have one - you - and that even though you are not here at this very moment, that doesn't make you any less real or a valuable and remembered and important member of our family.

So, even though soon I will be holding your sister in my arms, and just you in my heart, I wanted you to know how fiercely I love you and that you will NEVER be forgotten.

You are good.  You are my daughter.  And I love you.


Jenn said...

This is beautiful ;)

Sheyenne said...

It truly is bittersweet. Don't feel guilty if you get a bit sad when you're holding your new bundle of joy... give yourself permission to be completely over the moon ecstatic with joy for your new daughter, but also give yourself permission to continue to grieve what 'could have been' with Kendall. The two will often collide (as I've learned in just these short months with Gia), but its ok. Love you friend and am thinking of you! Cannot WAIT to see pics!!!!

Penny said...

That letter is so touching. Thank you for sharing your feelings at this time. I want you to know also my dear daughter that you are Good and I love you. How blessed I am that you are here and I have the opportunity to hug you and love you too. Now go out and deliver this baby girl!

Telstaar said...

I will never forget her either for the meadows in which she sometimes play have also become the safe place for some of my little ones. I can never forget the images I saw (beautiful and amazing), neither can I ever forget the damage and recovery that she gave to you. I am saddened she is not with us in the flesh right now and I am thankful that she gave you life.

I love you both xo

Stacy said...

Your little girls.. sisters will share a special bond. I know I do with my older sister that I spent time with after she passed and before I was born. Never a replacement, just a vessel for you to show double the love to at times. Congratulations on your third child. I know the love only grows exponentially with each. I am sure Miss Kendall will be there cheering her mommy and sister on during labor and as you meet the first time. I have always said Kendall will be sending extra love and kisses with her baby sister just for you. Hugs mama, you are great and wonderful and I am so happy for you. JUST DO IT!

bananas said...

Dear Kendall,

Although I never got to meet you, I will always remember you. Your family loves you so much and you are in their hearts forever. Please watch over them, especially your new baby sister.

Keely said...

This post made me cry- and I don't even have kids and have never been pregnant. The only thing I can relate it to is hearing from my mom about my older sister, Jessica, who she miscarried and how much heartache and pain she went through afterward. She said she hated it when people tried to tell her that it wasn't a "real baby" or not a real loss because she never gave birth to her. But she was real and lived and was loved even if she was never born.

This letter was so beautiful. Thanks for sharing.