Monday, September 20, 2010

A Glaringly Obvious Reminder

You know, most peeps love fall because they can wax poetic about the beautiful orange and red leaves, and the pumpkin carving, and the harvest moons…

I love fall because I can wax poetic about the RETURN OF NETWORK TELEVISION. Seriously I always wonder how I even make it through the summer. How do I survive without my weekly doses of Jillian’s eyebrows and Blair’s schemes and Tyra’s fierce outfits? I mean HONESTLY.

So tomorrow is the return of my all time favorite, Biggest Loser. And to celebrate the premier, I am having a party, and the only stipulation is that you must bring some food to share. And NO, you cannot bring carrot sticks and raisins. You must bring the most un-Biggest Loser like snack you can think of, that way while the new contestants and SOBBING and SWEATING PROFUSELY after walking only 100 yards, I can gleefully watch them while noshing on the very food that got them there in the first place. It’s so fun, you should try it! So if you’d like to be on the guest list for tomorrow night, do let me know. Just come prepared to EAT and LOVE JILLIAN’S EYEBROWS. A’ight?

Speaking of like eating and gaining weight…
I have a fun story for you:

So in group last Thursday, I was talking about what my last post was about, you know, how and where do I set boundaries in a friendship, etc, and I don’t really know how we got on the subject, but the Almighty T was talking about how noticeable it is that I’m in a better place, and she was like, “IT’S GLARINGLY OBVIOUS you’re doing better.” And I kind of looked at her, like, “It’s that GLARINGLY OBVIOUS that I’ve gained weight, huh?” (and mix in a crestfallen look in there somewhere) and then she laughed and tried to backpedal and was like, “it’s not GLARINGLY OBVIOUS you’ve gained weight, just that you know er you know like you’re errrr doing better in all of these other areas.” (She says, evasively.) And I’m like “Nuh-uh NO YOU DIDN’T.” And everyone was laughing at my GLARINGLY OBVIOUS bigger butt and creamy thighs and now we can’t let the joke go. The next day I was hanging with my friend and group sis D; I was helping her move, and we were walking back to her car, and someone had parked suuuuper close next to the passenger side door, and I was like, “Dar, you gotta back out, there’s no way I can fit in there,” and she was like, “Oh yeah, it’s totally GLARINGLY OBVIOUS that you can’t fit BAHAHAHAHAHA” and I’m like “NICE.” (Only not really.) And then later that night I sat on a box and BROKE IT and she was like “It’s GLARINGLY OBVIOUS why that box broke” and I’m like ooooh I’m meek and it was cardboard so shut the heck up JERK.

So please.

When it’s GLARINGLY OBVIOUS that someone has gained weight, comment on their hair instead. Tell them they have really shiny hair or maybe a really sweet spirit, instead of going for the GLARINGLY OBVIOUS option by telling them that the badonka donk in their trunk is GLARINGLY AWESOME.

(Just a GLARINGLY OBVIOUS reminder.)

LOVE YOU.

13 comments:

Alexandra Rising said...

It's GLARINGLY obvious that you are an entertaining and poised writer!

And I am on the Tyra and Gossip Girl train. [&Dr Phil at this moment--sad].

Stacy said...

I just watched Gossip Girl this morning. Love it :-)

my favorite weight gain compliment "you look so healthy" And while that may be true healthy some how translates to fat when you have/have had and ED. Fortunately I like looking healthy :-)

And as for you... you look happy and if weight gain has attributed to that then that's good too.

Krista said...

Ok I want in on this Biggest Loser party! I will bring the most delectable trifle you have ever tasted!It is most certainly not Biggest Loser approved! Will it be ok if I brought J as the hubby has school?

Kerri said...

Hehe- well you definitely do sound soo much better. You just seem happier in general in your posts and I am sure everyone is just seeing that. I mean, I am able to see it just from your blog posts so I imagine it is just really noticeable to people. I know how it is to just assume it is your weight (and yeah some are just jerks and comment on that when they shouldn't!) but you really truly do look BETTER and MORE BEAUTIFUL now than you did before. I can only imagine what it must be like for those that know you in person to see that change. You have done so amazingly great Brie even with all those stupid ED thoughts swirling around and all the other stuff that's gone on in the last year. Anyway, I will DEFINITELY be joining you for that Biggest Loser party because I have been counting the days. Perhaps I will go on a baking spree for the occasion :P

allegri said...

Babe its GLARINGLY OBVIOUS that your amazing. And that your totally rocking at treatment. I am soooooo proud of you. Have a rockin biggest loser meatfest party tomorrow!!!
<3 much love

t. said...

wow. i thought i was the only one who chowed down during biggest loser. haha!

and your hair really is fabulous.

kj said...

it's so true. i feel a little upset everytime someone tells me i look "so much better" already. can't help but think how much "fatter" i've gotten. ahh. to hell with those thoughts!

Alicia B. Designs said...

BAHAHA you are too funny. Why don't you live in NYC?? I hate when people say "you look healthy" because you KNOW what that translates to!!! I just have to take it by now and move on. And you do have pretty shiny hair :)

Glee starts tonight !!!

Keely said...

OMG I want to come to your biggest loser party!!! My phone number is on facebook. :)

And your story made me smile (not in a laughing way at you of course). I do think you are beautiful, and I am very envious of your thick, shiny locks and tan skin. :)

Keely said...

Oh and funny story. I CHOW down during biggest loser! When I lived with my old roommate, we would swing by KFC and get meals to share. My roommate Albert and I were watching the episode where mike and his dad are running the marathon and ron is just crossing the finish line with his cane and the music is going (triumphant, persevering music...) and I turned to Albert (we both had watery eyes but I try not to show mine) and he was full on crying and took a bite of a chicken wing and was like "its so beau...ti..ful..." ;)

bananas said...

It's GLARINGLY OBVIOUS that comments like these are not cool. No body comments are, ever.

Penny said...

Sorry so late commenting but I loved this post. It is blaringly obvious tht you are a terrific writer! You make me laugh and I need it.

April said...

So I do hair for a living...does that make me a professional? Anyway, you do have great hair! And the cutest little boy :) And that, my friend, is glaringly obvious--