|Daisies for Kendall.|
As this one year anniversary of your senseless death approaches, I have been filled with an overwhelming sadness. I’ve felt this awful emptiness, like a hole in my heart, at your loss. I’ve felt overcome with grief and with “what if’s.” Kendall, when I found out I was pregnant with you, I was so excited. I was scared as hell but I was so thrilled to be able to have you be a part of our little family. I bought dresses and bows for you. I made you a beautiful little quilt that was going to hold you and keep you warm. I wondered if you’d have dimples like your older brother and I secretly hoped you’d have dark hair like your mommy. Every night I rubbed my tummy and told you I loved you. When I felt you moving inside me, I smiled and laughed out loud.
|Group sisters, from left to right: D, me, C, K, L, and M|
|To write love on her arms. In memory KPB.|
Thank you for giving me so much, more than you ever knew your little life could offer. Selfishly, and tragically, your death taught me to live. And I will never forget that.
You are good. You are my daughter. And I love you.
It felt so good to focus on the good her short, little life brought, rather than focus on the tragedy of it all. Pictured here are my group sisters that I ♥. I don’t know what I’d do without them!
Love you Kendall. Love you always