To most of you, TOMS might be shoes that you think are cute, or maybe too trendy, or boring, or, just, you know, another pair of mid-price shoes out there you can buy.
To me, TOMS are the cat's meow. They make me purr with pleasure when I behold them. When I slip that beautiful shoe on my foot, I have a footgasm. To me, in Brieism, TOMS literally translates to LUST.
So, my dear readers, I thought it was about time you meet the objects of my desire. May you see them and gasp at their beauty and comfort. May you never be the same again, after beholding their amazement:
First, may I introduce my Purple Hearts. I happened to snag the last pair in the ENTIRE MALL, and I thought to myself, Dear Brie, this may be your version of dying and going to Heaven and getting to do The Sex with 40 virgins or something - oh be still my heart squeal I love them!
Next, we have Sparkles. No explanation for name necessary. These babies could easily be worn while dancing Disco or impersonating Michael Jackson. I love these ones so much, I wanna take them behind the jr. high school and get them pregnant!
Butterscotches. These beauties give me self-esteem and are utterly pleasurable on my feet. And I even tasted them - they are indeed as sweet as the candy they were named after! ;)
So, I'm thinking about procreating with them and having some little Broms running around. Ah, how sweet!
May you buy some TOMS. May you honor your feet enough to own them, love them, and rock the hell out of 'em. :)