Well, my anxiety is killing me. Nice opener to a post, eh? Talking about my inevitable untimely demise induced by an accelerated heart rate, numb extremities, and sobbing slash screaming WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME HELP ME HELP ME I DID MY BEST I DID MY BEST (pause for breath) HELP ME sob sob cry whine.
It's bad you guys. Like out of control bad. I've been talking to Doc P about it (my ED doc who I LOVE and would totally marry if I weren't already married. And if she wasn't already married. And, you know, a CHICK.) ANYWHOSIES she's prescribed me some benzos to help, and I have an appt with Orville Redenbacher, (the psychiatrist who I SWEAR is an identical twin brother to our beloved popcorn icon) and I have an emergency appt scheduled with the Almighty T tomorrow....so hopefully all this will help me get my she-she together enough to function.
Just so, so much going on. I feel like, in my life, I'm at a proverbial fork in the road. And I have no idea which path to take, because neither of them are easy and flowers and rainbows and cakes. Both paths are full of darkness and the unknown and sceeeery spiders and fear. So I pause, waiting at the fork, praying, asking, begging for help...having no idea which direction to take. I'm told to follow my heart, but what do you do when your heart is torn? (Oh and PS holy oh my moly the stress of all this is making me break out like there's no tomorrow. My face hasn't looked this bad EVER, even while in the throes of puberty. And I NEVER thought I'd have to use the term "adult acne" in the same sentence as BRIE, but it's happened. Oh child, NO. It's awful!
So that's why I've been quiet lately. To be 10047576% honest, I've been a strugglin' right now, and I've needed some time and space to sort things out. They're still not really, you know, "sorted," but I'm workin' on it.
In the meantime, I hope you are all having a fabulous fall enjoying snugglable sweaters and warm drinks and the beautiful fall leaves falling. I'm kind of ignoring all that in favor of zeroing in on Biggest Loser, but whateva. ;) I shall have an opportunity to appreciate nature at its finest this weekend on a fun little rendezvous to Yellowstone. :)
I know this post was vague. But it kind of has to be. Just pray or send good vibes my way, or maybe mail me some Nacho Cheese Corn Nuts to cheer me up, or give me a hug if you see me (my bubble's getting bigger!) or just let me, if you can, know everything will be okay. Because honestly? I really need to hear that right now.