Thursday, April 11, 2013

15 1/2 Weeks

Haven't done a pregnancy update in awhile, so thought I'd do something quick and rather disorganized, just to remember it:

Little baby boy man seems to be doing great.  I listen to his heart beat every night on the doppler, and I'm just barely starting to feel little flutters in my tummy, usually when I am sitting or lying down and not moving around much.  I feel like my belly is huge, but looking at these pictures I'm going to post...not so much.  I mean, it's definitely there, but it's not like inappropriately ginormous or anything.

Cravings are still insane.  I mostly want sweet stuff, but really, anything that is edible I'll usually go for, especially when I get desperate - i.e., every night at 9 pm.  I've definitely gained weight so far, but not as much as I would have thought or even guessed - I am definitely lower than where I was with Mila at this point.  I actually seem to gain more weight with my girls than with my boys - not sure why.

Glad that baby man is doing okay, but I'm not so much.  My lungs are awful right now.  I started a high dose of steroids early last week to help me breathe, but quit them after 4 days because I was feeling really volatile - angry and impulsive and depressed and just so not me, I couldn't take it.  It's been about 5 days since I've been off them, and I've slowly been noticing it getting harder and harder to catch my breath, and I just keep ignoring it because apparently I think that if I pretend something isn't happening, maybe it'll actually be the case.  Sigh, magical thinking...

Anyway, don't know what to do about it.  I obviously need to breathe but I cannot bear the way the steroids make me feel.  I see my OB next week and if I can make it that long, of course I'll talk to her about it.

Also really stressing about body image, etc.  Of course this just comes with the territory when pregnant, but add a big ol fat eating disorder on top of it, and it makes for one awful mess.

Luckily I scored these super cute maternity pants at H&M for $15, and the purple is so springy!  Maybe cute(r) maternity pants will actually help me be cute(r).  We shall see!

(Oh, and ignore my messy mud room in the background.  Embarrassment.)


Colleen said...

you look great :) love the purple pants... and the new hair!
glad to hear you're gaining, even if it's not as much as you'd like

Krista said...

Good to know H&M has maternity. You look adorable!

katiemacgregor said...

you look beautiful, silly :) but i know that feeling. that...UGH feeling. it isn't fun.

praying for you,

Sarah Hope said...

You look adorable. Additionally, every single nutrient you put in your body helps that sweet boy's body develop, and his BRAIN! I can give you all the brain data you want about neurons wiring and connecting and making things happen, based on those nutrients you're getting. Go girl go! You're making a brain! And you look damn cute doing it! :)