I appreciate all your love and concern and comments from my last post. Every once in awhile I just have one of those days where I feel I can scarcely breathe from the pain of it all. I don’t want people to forget Kendall. Will you all promise me something? Don’t forget about Kendall. Please keep her in your heart as I do mine. For some reason the thought of her being of no consequence to many just breaks my heart. She was as real to me as the blue sky and the feel of the grass between my toes and the kisses I get from my son every day. Please remember. Remember for me, but also remember to honor Kendall.
…I don’t know how to move on, just yet, and when I see other people just fine about it, it leaves me feeling a little bitter and upset. But today is bound to be a better day because I’m wearing the world’s most giganticnormous fake flower on my head. And also, ‘dis bitch gained weight – so I am well on my way to health and recovery and am trying desperately hard not to freak out about this. Go me! Go Brie!
Gaining weight is good! Gain a ton, cuz its super fun! (You like my cheer? Damn I should have been a cheerleader minus the fact I can’t raise my leg above, even, like my waist. Tall=not so limber=awkward lurpy-ness that give me low self-esteemage…)
Yesterday I was at the gym running, (Don’t freakcalmdown I’m allowed exercise as long as I make up for it, which I did, with a yummers maple donut from The Sev.) and everyone was staring at me due to a la tube. I think more people think I need it for either a) oxygen or b) because I have cancer. At any rate, I guess it doesn’t really matter since I SMOKED THEM ALL by running 4 miles in 30 minutes. Not bad for this rusty bod, eh? Go me. (Victory dance with a little booty shake oooh and pelvic thrust in there for good measure, too…)
Going to the dentist AGAIN today after work. I will once again be drugged and laughing gassed up. They have to replace the fake crown they somehow, negligently, like forgot to magnet in or whatever. I dunno. Just know I’m bugged about it. I hope I get a free toothbrush or sugar-free gum out of it or something. Also last time I made an utter fool in front of myself (you’resuchanicedentistithoughtyouweregoingtohurtmebutyou’resooooonicethanksforbeingniceiloveyou), and I’m so embarrassed I think I peed myself a little. Cross your fingers that Adult Brie comes to play and not Crazy Brie that Turns into one of Those Talkers who Won’t Shut up. I hate those kinds of talkers.
Like now. Am I a talker with a giganticnormous flower on her head that won’t shut up?
In Summary:
So. I’m wearing a cheerful fake flower.
Don’t forget about Kendall.
Praise me for my athletic skills.
Pray I make it through the dentist alive and with my carnal treasure intact.
Got it?
Good. Peace and love to ya'll, homies.
PSers: I also wanted to wish my mom a very happy and lovely birthday today. She is the cheese to my macaroni and the Jillian to her eyebrows. I love her so much. My sister is so much better at doing dedication posts; she can make them so beautiful and touching. Please visit her blog -->here<-- to read about my mother and her birthday. Love you to the moon and back, Mom.
28 comments:
Promise I won't forget about Kendall :), I know it's hard, Brie- harder than I can imagine and thoughts of her are cherished :)
As for your weight gain motto- I la la love it! Yay, it sounds like you're doing great- and all that weight just adds on to your irresistible sexayness :)
xoxo
I will most definitely never forget about Kendall, that is a guarantee. You needn't have met someone for them to have a place in your heart.
Being a cheerleader is HIGHLY over-rated, I done that for a coupla years and hope I never have to sync my clapping and stomping again.
Congrats on moving forward with restoring your bod! You can totally do this, and it will be so worth it in the end. Good luck at the dentist, have fun with the drugs, better living through chemistry! ;)
Glad you are feeling better love.
c, why do i have a hard time believing you were a cheerleader?? not that it's bad, but i guess i just assumed you were too busy being the perfect student and like studying centipedes and stuff, ;) that's it! i've dubbed you my official cheerleader!!! haha.
thanks samantha. yes, i am feeling a bit better...
you guys rock. :)
Of course I will never forget about Kendall. Never. I promise. And I hadn't forgotten, and I think about it more than you know...
p.s. That is a damn big flower!!!
And how were your lungs after running?
No worries, I have a hard time believing I was a cheerleader too. This was just in middle school when i was in my "omg who am I" phase, I was actually co-captain, rah rah...sigh. Those are some pics you will NEVER see on Facebook!!!
I would totally come out of retirement for you though. ;)
Let's get fired up
Let's get on track
Brie's gonna beat the ED back!
Let's get fired up
Let's get in the game
Anorexia is mega-lame!
Let's get fired up
Brie is a star
We all know she's gonna go far!
Go, fight, win, Brie, go fight win!
Alright now, having flashbacks to overtight pony-tails and bunching bloomers, do me a favor and please pick up the last shreds of my dignity on your way out the door to the dentist.... ;)
bananas, i love you. :)
as long as i take all my lung meds before i run, i'm more or less fine. the docs actually want me to exercise, because it's one of the best ways to strengthen my lungs and make them function better. so that's good, right??
C, I'm totally roaring!
and
don't kill me, but i think i just might post your cheer for me on my next blog...damn you're awesome. ;)
I want lil C to come play w/ mace today during your ordeal! I will call Amber.
good luck girly! xo
When I saw your post yesterday I just had to go back and practically read your whole blog. I'm so sorry about Kendall. Of course she would linger in your mind - for always! She is your child. And I could be wrong but I wonder if other people in your life are avoiding talking about her (even though they think about her too) because they don't want to upset you. It might be beneficial to share your thoughts with someone, to dialogue about Kendall when you need to. Just a thought. Hugs to you :)
Brie, you will be able to see my blush all the way from Utah, LOL but it's your cheer now and you may do with it what you wish. <3
oh, C, blush if you must but truly i thought it was pretty darn amazing - much more skilled than my half arsed one in my post. and as silly as it sounds, i actually really really appreciated it. :)
I wont forget kendall.
Cheerleaders aren't just on the movies???
amazing!
are sororities a real thing too?
CRAZY!
luck for the dentist!
happy bday momma brie
a)I haven't forgotten Kendall. I wont :) She is a part of you.
b)I was going to ask you how you could run with your lungs but I see you've already answered that. Man, they wont let me WALK but they'll let you run? ~Jealous~ Be careful with those lungsies! Oh, and *applause* on your fantastic 4 miles.
c) I have a picture of myself wearing a flower like that, too! [I was 18 at the time and it really wasnt the style then] It must be a sign of soul sistah-dom.
d) Happy Birthday to Mom of Brie!
1. i promise that i will not forget about kendall.
2. dude, that is one ginormous flower. seriously. like huge! but you are totally rocking it. and now i kinda want a giant flower on my head, too.
3. 4 miles in 30 minutes? holy crap, woman! you're like a car. well, no, not really. that'd be a really slow car. but a very fast human. so there's that.
4. good luck with the nice dentist. i could never do the gas. i tried it once, and i just kept thinking of that seinfeld episode where he can't remember if he was tucked or untucked before he went in. so i had them stop the gas.
5. and congratulations on the gainage. it's a good thing. keep it up!
hey brie,
i can assure you that i won't forget Kendall.
and big congrats on kicking ED butt. huge steps honey and i'm proud of you.
x
all you friggin aaammmmaaaazing women! thank you for not forgetting kendall. i don't know why it's so important to me...but...it just is. so thanks. thank you with everything i have.
off to the dentist! dreamy laughing gas land, here i come!
I too promise not to forget Kendall. We won't ever let her be forgotten.
Good job on the running and the weight gain! It's fantastic to hear you write about your increase in physical strength.
I hope the dentist goes well. I thoroughly hate the dentist.
I certainly won't forget about Kendall. I think of her everytime I visit your blog and think the world of you for what you've been through, how you are here, and of your strength through life's journey.
It's a cheesy comment but I mean all of it:)
My Bestie Brie,
1. I would never forget about Kendall... not possible. Remember that she's up there dancing with someone very special to me.
2. I would love to see this "lurpy" waist high cheer kickage. It may make my life.
3. I wish I could be there with you for Super Nice Dentist Episode Number 2.
4. It has been WAY too long since I have seen you and your giganticnormous flowered head.. I'm over it.. we need to play.
5. I love you to the moon and back. Hang tough chica.
oh Brie, your humour amazes me :) and also brightens up my day.
even though you may not realise, your posts really affect me as well as entertain me (especially with the image of the so called 'cancer brie' running on the treadmill, all people watching in amazement, hehe)
and i also just love the way you write.
i promise you, i will not forget about Kendall!
and i love the flower!! :D
love katie
xox
In a way I think I might kinda of understand your fear of everyone forgetting about Kendall and moving on like she never existed. I promise Kendall will never be forgotten. I promise.
Me neither. I will never forget about Kendall Brie. I've never been pregnant, but my mom lost 5 babies when I was growing up, and I saw the sadness that she endured. I have never been in your shoes, but I've seen someone who has. It's so hard, and you're a tough cookie. Bottom line: I will never ever forget about Kendall
I promise you I will not forget about Kendall. In fact, when I buy my roses every March 20th in remembrance of my Elizabeth, I will buy one of a different color for Kendall. Is there a particular color you prefer? I always get the palest pink I can find.
I am in awe of your running abilities! Seriously, I could never do that!
Thank you for the sweet birthday wishes. I love you to the Moooooooooon and back tooooooooo!(beat you with all the o's!) I too will never forget Kendall Penny. Not only does she carry my name, I will see her every time I look into your eyes. The love and the pain will always be reflected there. We are never the same after this kind of loss. And we don't want to be. I think that is part of what you are trying to say. And it is true
I won't forget Kendall either. I'm so glad you have an amazing mom to support you through your recovery from this loss. And congrats on every positive step you have been making.
Post a Comment