This'll be short today, friends.
Not having a very good day.
It's one of THOSE days.
Had myself a good long cry this morning.
And this afternoon.
Thankfully my mom is coming to my rescue and is going to watch the kiddos for me.
So I can have a long nap with my kitties and heating blanket
and ear plugs, of course.
Woke up to a crappy email in my inbox.
Tried to reach out to someone who shafted me.
Worried about someone I love. Well worried about someoneS I love. So many hurting.
Still figuring out how to manage this terrible anxiety without benzos.
Still want benzos, and wish I didn't.
I'm so tired.
Sometimes I don't know how to be "not okay" gracefully.
I seem to make a mess of it.
Today is just one of those days.
I'll get over it.
I'll be okay.
But I think, right now, I just need to be not okay.
Even if I'm not very graceful about it.
Even if I make a mess of it.
Even if I seem to disappoint people, which I seem to be doing so much these days.
Even, even, even.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
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6 comments:
Hope your day gets better. Or your week. Or both. :) Thanks for your heartfelt comment on my blog post. Means a lot to just be heard. I primarily blog on my main site at Actively Arielle, the recovery one, so it's always a pleasant surprise when people comment and reach out to me on my personal blog. I hate having "one of those days," so I'm sure you're thrilled about it too. Have a great, restful nap with your kitties. You don't have to be graceful all the time. And I highly doubt you are disappointing people as much as your head is telling you that you are. ((hugs))
Really sorry that you're having a rough time. So glad your mom was able to come over and help you, and more importantly, that you reached out when you needed some relief. Those Days are awful, and I hope that your week turns around asap.
I happen to think you are fantabulous, take care B.
<3
C.
Sorry you're having a rough day :( I totally understand the benzo thing. I quit taking them when I got preggers and it was so horrible coming off them that I vowed never to go back on them again. This might sound lame, but have you ever done DBT? Like more than the watered down version of it at CFC? I found that when I really truly put the distress tolerance skills into practice it was the only thing that got me through the rough time without using meds.
praying for you love.
It really is okay to go back to the benzos. That's why they exist, to help people cope. *hugs*
I'm sorry it's a rough day!
Hugs, we are here for you to vent to if you want
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