A Glaringly Obvious Reminder

You know, most peeps love fall because they can wax poetic about the beautiful orange and red leaves, and the pumpkin carving, and the harvest moons…

I love fall because I can wax poetic about the RETURN OF NETWORK TELEVISION. Seriously I always wonder how I even make it through the summer. How do I survive without my weekly doses of Jillian’s eyebrows and Blair’s schemes and Tyra’s fierce outfits? I mean HONESTLY.

So tomorrow is the return of my all time favorite, Biggest Loser. And to celebrate the premier, I am having a party, and the only stipulation is that you must bring some food to share. And NO, you cannot bring carrot sticks and raisins. You must bring the most un-Biggest Loser like snack you can think of, that way while the new contestants and SOBBING and SWEATING PROFUSELY after walking only 100 yards, I can gleefully watch them while noshing on the very food that got them there in the first place. It’s so fun, you should try it! So if you’d like to be on the guest list for tomorrow night, do let me know. Just come prepared to EAT and LOVE JILLIAN’S EYEBROWS. A’ight?

Speaking of like eating and gaining weight…
I have a fun story for you:

So in group last Thursday, I was talking about what my last post was about, you know, how and where do I set boundaries in a friendship, etc, and I don’t really know how we got on the subject, but the Almighty T was talking about how noticeable it is that I’m in a better place, and she was like, “IT’S GLARINGLY OBVIOUS you’re doing better.” And I kind of looked at her, like, “It’s that GLARINGLY OBVIOUS that I’ve gained weight, huh?” (and mix in a crestfallen look in there somewhere) and then she laughed and tried to backpedal and was like, “it’s not GLARINGLY OBVIOUS you’ve gained weight, just that you know er you know like you’re errrr doing better in all of these other areas.” (She says, evasively.) And I’m like “Nuh-uh NO YOU DIDN’T.” And everyone was laughing at my GLARINGLY OBVIOUS bigger butt and creamy thighs and now we can’t let the joke go. The next day I was hanging with my friend and group sis D; I was helping her move, and we were walking back to her car, and someone had parked suuuuper close next to the passenger side door, and I was like, “Dar, you gotta back out, there’s no way I can fit in there,” and she was like, “Oh yeah, it’s totally GLARINGLY OBVIOUS that you can’t fit BAHAHAHAHAHA” and I’m like “NICE.” (Only not really.) And then later that night I sat on a box and BROKE IT and she was like “It’s GLARINGLY OBVIOUS why that box broke” and I’m like ooooh I’m meek and it was cardboard so shut the heck up JERK.

So please.

When it’s GLARINGLY OBVIOUS that someone has gained weight, comment on their hair instead. Tell them they have really shiny hair or maybe a really sweet spirit, instead of going for the GLARINGLY OBVIOUS option by telling them that the badonka donk in their trunk is GLARINGLY AWESOME.

(Just a GLARINGLY OBVIOUS reminder.)

LOVE YOU.