National Blueberry Popsicle Month

Really? According to this website, September is the month of many ridiculously random things. Here are a few:

-Fall Hat Month
-International Square Dancing Month
-National Blueberry Popsicle Month
-National Courtesy Month
-National Piano Month
-Chicken Month
-Baby Safety Month
-Little League Month
-Honey Month
-Self Improvement Month
-Better Breakfast Month

So, who decides what random thing gets to be nationally (or even internationally – go square dancing!) recognized? I’ve never even tasted a blueberry popsicle. Maybe that’s why they’re recognized? Because nobody likes them, and for one month out of the year they get to feel special.

And - better breakfast, huh? Like, is that promoting eating a healthy(ier) breakfast than one normally does? If so, then I should focus on that this month. I’m currently eating Doritos and guzzling it all down with a 32 ouncer of Diet Coke. What if I dipped my Doritos in Ranch? Doesn’t Ranch have milk in it? That counts as calcium! See? I can make Better Breakfast Month really work, here.

Well, if it were up to me, here’s what I’d have September commemorate:

-Shiny Hair Month (on me, of course)

-Diet Coke Month (and, in my oh so important opinion, I think it should be EVERY month)
-Make a Mortal Enemy Month (‘cuz we all need one!)
-Recover Right Freaking Now From Your Eating Disorder Month
-Have a Breakthrough in Therapy Month (even a small one would be nice!)
-Say the Word Queefer At Least Once This Month Month
- National WTF Month
Well, that’s to name a few. What does September commemorate to you?

I need to plot how to say ‘queefer’ to a coworker today without getting fired. Any ideas?