Lil' Cupcakes

My mom bought Mila and Baby Penny matching cupcake dresses from Baby Gap.  Here are a few photos of the future best friends.  :)  (Thanks Grandma Penny!)

Stressed About Swelling

Hey, have a question and thought I'd throw it out to the Blogxygeners for opinions.

Remember my little tumble that resulted in a really nasty bruise and scrape?  Well, almost a week later, the swelling has not gone down.  And it still hurts like all hell, but that doesn't surprise me much, considering it's still bruised.  But a few people today were telling me that the swelling should have gone down by now, and that if it hasn't, there's a possibility of maybe having a hair-line fracture, or something?  Also, it's still incredibly sore and tender, and I'm not sure how normal that is for going on a week.  So, do I go get it x-rayed?  Or wait a few days to see if the swelling goes down?  Or do I not do anything since the docs won't do anything about a hair-line fracture anyway? 

I'm not big on going to the doc, so my first reaction is to just not go and wait for things to heal up, but if I'm like causing damage by not going, then I will.  What think ya'llsies?

Love

I freaking love my kids so much.  The only way this picture could be better is if Daddy was in it, cuz I really really really adore him too.  Quite.

Miss 5 Months

My little pint-sized bean pole is 5 months old today!  I can't believe she's already getting so old...it's hard for me to believe because she's still so tiny, plus she doesn't really do anything cool, so she kind of seems like a newborn to me still.  But soon I think she's going to be sitting and holding things and maybe even getting a full-time job.  Woo hoo!  ;)

A pint sized furry vest!  Oh my heart!

A few things about Mila:

Nicknames: Miss Mila, Mees, LoverPants, MK (stands for Mila Kunis), Posh Spice, Mila Bean

Mila finally rolled over a few days ago - from stomach to back.  She still can't roll from back to tummy, but hopefully she'll get that soon.  I was so relieved because I was worried about her IQ.  ;)  She is starting to seem a bit more interested in toys, but not much.  So, what does she do all day?  EAT.  She loves her ba ba's.  She also loves to blow spit bubbles.  More on that later.

It was so fun having Mila here for Christmas.  I remember last year at Christmas, I had only found out a few weeks prior that I was pregnant, and it all seemed so surreal...I was already morning sick, but other than that, it seemed so hard to believe I actually had a baby in my belluh, and because I'd lost Kendall, I was really doubtful that I'd even have Mila - I was pretty convinced that something would go wrong.  So to have her here...it was such a delight.  It really was.  She of course had no idea it was a holiday, but she smiled and dutifully looked fantastic in her Christmas outfit.  Good girl!

Mila is a champ sleeper.  She rarely wakes in the night.  In fact, Christmas night she slept from 10:30 pm to 10:30 am.  I honestly think it was her Christmas present to me.  And I loved it!  She's a much better sleeper than Cade ever was, and I'm so grateful for that.  By 1 years old Cade wasn't even sleeping through the night...it was rough.  So this has been a fun surprise.

Mila is a massive spitter.  It's gross, seriously.  She soaks her shirt within an hour of wearing it.  I can't decide if she's teething...I see no evidence of it yet, and she's not acting like she's in any pain, but the drool situation is a little out of control, and not very becoming for a little lady.  Oh wellsies.

Anyway, I love my lil chica.  Can't believe she's growing up so fast!

Deck the Halls with Scrapes and Bruises

Took a little tumble yesterday.  I was walking down a flight of stairs and whammo - before I knew what hit me, I was down.  I didn't even know it was icy.  Poor Mila was in her car seat, so while she was jarred and scared out of her sleep, she fortunately wasn't actually hurt.  Unlike my arm.  And my back.  And my butt.  And my dignity.

My mom and I thought I might have broken my arm at first, but thankfully nothing so scandalous happened - just a really big abrasion and a hella nasty bruise that hurts like a freaking mo fo.

Merry Christmas to me!

I'm Rather Fond of Him

A Pre-Christmas Update!

One of my dear readers so lovingly gave me a kick in the arse and told me to update because she was DYING without my blog.  I seem to have that affect a lot on people.  ;)

So, just for you, here's an update:

Things are okay.  I am indeed doing better than I was in my last post, as cryptic as I may have been.  And, nope, sorry, still not ready to really talk about what happened, but it's safe to say that the worst is definitely behind me, and I'm super dee duper grateful for that.

I can't believe Christmas is in, like, A WEEK.  Sweet sassy frassy, I still have a TON of shopping to do.  I always think I have plenty of time, until suddenly, I like don't, and I start scrambling around, trying to get everything done before the big day.  It's sufficient to say I am officially in Scrambling Mode.  Also, I'M SELFISH.  I went to the mall yesterday, intent on buying my remaining gifts...only to be waylaid by Buckle and their beautiful Rock  Revivals.  I won't tell you the shameful things that went on there, let's just say though, MERRY EARLY CHRISTMAS TO ME!!!!  Woops.

Anyway, so aside from my selfishness and my need to get more on the ball and shop, I am excited for Christmas.  I LOVE the holidays having kids, because Cade is SO EXCITED for Christmas, and his excitement is infectious.  He has sat on Santa's lap twice, and once he asked for an iPad (crap) and the second time he asked for, well...he asked for a shark blimp.  I wasn't sure of what it was, until I found it on Amazon - it is indeed an inflatable FLYING shark that's about as big as a baby crib.  And yes, your next guess is correct - I am THRILLED about having that piece of crap in my house for the next couple years, taking up precious storage space.  Sheesh.  Whatever happened to wanting normal stuff, like race cars and action figures?  Now my 5 year old wants a computer that's worth more than his life, and a flying shark?  Really?  Sigh.  Good thing Santa's more generous than Cade's own mama... ;)  PS - That Santa looks a little rough around the edges.  Couldn't he at least have combed his gross, pubey beard?

In Mila news, she's great - really she is - but she's kind of useless.  I mean, she STILL can't do anything.  She's 4 1/2 months old and she hasn't yet figured out how to roll over.  She still won't hold toys.  Which, of course, means she entirely depends on me to entertain her.  And I love her, and I'm mostly just teasing, but I kind of want her to start doing something!  Hello baby chica!  Stop being so boring!!  Do you think she'll read this post when she's an adult and wonder if I loved her?  Hmmmm.

Also, please keep our little fam in your thoughts and prayers, because Brandon is going in for an interview at work on Monday for a promotion, and while it's a long shot he'll actually get the job, we're still really hoping.  Dear Santa, or God, or Satan, or Dumbledore, whichever of you is willing to give Brandon this job, I promise to worship you.  Love, Brie.  ;)

And that's it.  I'll try to get better at more regular updates!

New Rockin' 'Do

Oh hi.  Daddy gave me my very first mohawk today.
I dig it.

Shameful Secret

I am reading Tyra Banks' new book, Modelland.

And I am mildly enjoying it.

More Questions Asked than Answered

It's been awhile since I gave a real update, huh?  Truthfully, I've had plenty to say, I just wasn't sure I could say it on my blog, or how to.  And I still don't really know if what's been happening with me for the last week or so is something that I want to put on my blog, so I'm just going to tap dance around what really happened and mostly just say that irrevocably, irrefutably, this has maybe one of the worst weeks I've gone through in a really, really, REALLY long time.

I've had to take some hard, vulnerable, honest looks at myself, and, in doing that, I've made some changes.  Is that vague-tastic enough for you?  Have you ever just been slammed in the face with a pile of you suck bricks that left you reeling and concussed and you're like, what the hell just happened?  How could my life suddenly turn upside down?  What do I do, how am I going to survive?  Do I even WANT to survive?  Have you ever felt like what happened to you might have been a tad unfair, but begrudgingly you admit you probably needed that major kick?  Am I asking enough questions that are thoroughly confusing the skittles out of you?

I  might, at some point, be more ready to talk details with you.  But as it stands, I'm not ready to go there yet.  Let's just say, in Layman's terms, (or if you're Mormon, LAMAN'S TERMS) that I thought I might die this week.  Not physically, I wasn't sick and there wasn't anything wrong with me, but I felt so emotionally SICK that I wanted to die.  I wasn't sure life would go on.  I wasn't sure I even WANTED life to go on.  I've had a lot of figuring out to do and picking up the pieces and changing and working through shite and just figuring out how to be a better person in general.

And, I'm coming out of it.  A week ago today I was, at this very moment, sobbing my eyes out.  But today, I'm okay.  I don't think I'd describe myself as HAPPY or PERKY, but I'm okay.  I'm content.  I think things are on the upswing.  I have hope.

In other news, I'm a little worried about Mila Bean.  I mentioned a few posts ago that Mila was a little under-average for weight.  Um, yeah, that's an UNDERSTATEMENT.  I just found out that Mila is only in the 5th percentile for weight.  FIFTH.  As in, 95% of babies her age weigh more than her.  I am stressed.  I don't want my little baybuh to be this little.  She eats like a freakin' tank, I don't know why she's this small.  At 4 months she weighs 11 lbs, 12 oz, and I guess that's just not nearly enough?  I've talked to other moms out there and they have told me not to worry, as long as she continues to eat and gain weight, but it still worries me a bit.  I know I can't like transfer my anorexia to her by like my my kisses or zerberts, but I just want my baby to be chubalicious and ED free for the rest of her life.  I want no underweight trends for Mila now, or EVER.  I started her on solid food but she was so unenthusiastic about it, that I've put that on pause.  Her pediatrician told me to wait until she seems more interested.  I hope that when I resume solid foods, she can start putting on some weight.  If anyone knows of any techniques for getting my baby to gain weight, that include but are not limited to hypnosis, ass-fat transfer, (from mine to hers) or any other form of weight gain, then let me know.  I am open to suggestions.  Obviously.  I am above nothing.

In other news, Cade came home "sick" early from school today.  The little stinker is getting smart, because he is NOT sick.  I told him that if he was going to come home from school, then he had to lay down and not do anything fun, and I'm hoping that will deter him from thinking he can say he's sick to get out of school all the time.  I know he doesn't like school much, and yes that worries me, mostly because I worry and hope that he isn't being bullied or something like that that's making him not want to go to school, but what can I do?  I mean, I've TRIED so much to talk to him about it, but he just won't open up to me.  When I ask him why he doesn't like school, he mostly just says he doesn't like it because it's "long and boring."  No more details other than that are offered.  And I wish I could make things better for him, but I can't.  So every morning I dutifully get him ready and psyched for school, and hope that something will click for him so that he can start to enjoy it.  Any ideas on that front would be awesome too.  Apparently I'm a slacker mom who can't keep her kids happy and thriving?  Sadness face.

Well this post kinda sucked.  Sorry!  At least you can enjoy the pictures of my darling kids (and cat) (and shoes).  Kisses.

Baby it's Cold Outside

 It is officially freaking winter here.  It is SO COLD.  We have to bundle up Miss Mees when we pick up Cade from school.  She looks rather like a reluctant eskimo, doesn't she?