tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6957758174408171291.post3281838921307691814..comments2023-10-31T04:07:31.317-06:00Comments on Blogxygen: Goodbye to Group Therapy?briehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11495165592860741098noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6957758174408171291.post-89909427974013745302012-01-08T02:37:59.611-07:002012-01-08T02:37:59.611-07:00Hey Bree: Was there something that triggered your ...Hey Bree: Was there something that triggered your quietness in group or that you aren't comfortable with people in the group? Do you feel that the group is not at the same level or your life is completely different and it's hard to relate? Since you've struggled a bit do you feel pressure to not struggle because the group sees you as a leader? I know lot's of questions. Just things to think about.<br /><br />Maybe attending some sort of group like mom and me groups or our Barnes and Noble does story hour for kids at different ages all week. This is how my friend'daughter met her first group of friends. We started taking her when she was 4 months. Now almost 2 and a half. You meet other parents and you will have lots in common to talk about. Also a music or swim class might work. These are also groups but with people that share the same interests.I know the ed support is helpful but if you dread it, you may find another way to accomplish the goals of being in a group that members of things in common. Just an idea. Hope you have a great Sunday!!!fireflyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02443020437138183849noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6957758174408171291.post-68922483477239825962012-01-07T21:50:13.491-07:002012-01-07T21:50:13.491-07:00I think that leaving it without peace is not a goo...I think that leaving it without peace is not a good plan. When you leave, it should not be when you're frustrated with the group/uncomfortable/regressing...it should be when you've outgrown it. The main signs of outgrowing it, would be an indifference and calm and peace--that a group meeting would sway or change your behavior/moodes/thoughts/actions--that you just *are* ok on your own. Your new level of discomfort indicates there may be something new to address and/or work through. Welcoming teaching experiences, especially when you're uncomfortable, can be the best way to work through new or underlying or deep-seeded issues.<br /><br />Honestly, I wouldn't quit if I were you (it sounds like you're saying that you want to quit when the going gets tough, and that you're trying to rationalize it)--it sounds like you need it even more right now, than you ever have.<br /><br />Please, don't cut off a resource of support and education and learning--ESPECIALLY when you are not a peace...wait until you truly have outgrown it and can peacefully walk away from it without and blame on the group or the situation--that, it simply isn't right for you anymore.<br /><br />It sounds like you've come a LONG way...but you still have quite a ways to go still! Hang in there! You are not alone in your fight toward recovery! You CAN do it!Katiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01988417731898854709noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6957758174408171291.post-59124587083526869102012-01-07T21:01:31.552-07:002012-01-07T21:01:31.552-07:00Hi Brie. I am in a very similar situation - I hate...Hi Brie. I am in a very similar situation - I hated it at the beginning and then it was ok, maybe even good. Now it sucks again. I have found that when I'm not doing so well with my own recovery, group tend to not be as beneficial. It all depends on where MY focus is on any group day. I don't know if that helps or not. If you truly don't have any idea, it's a tough one. Could you maybe give it another month and see what happens in that month WITH you trying to be more assertive?<br /><br />Good luck!<br />PS Mila is adorable! ;)Afterglowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08779311586898798216noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6957758174408171291.post-45630405133717673452012-01-06T18:23:24.808-07:002012-01-06T18:23:24.808-07:00agree, agree, agree. and I think you man is right....agree, agree, agree. and I think you man is right. You can do it, you did it before. you can do hard things and you are better than the doormat you have been. Love you and you are ah mazing!Stacyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04938918733046959946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6957758174408171291.post-51099548720328714292012-01-06T17:53:40.777-07:002012-01-06T17:53:40.777-07:00I personally think that you should keep going to G...I personally think that you should keep going to Group. However- I like what Shannon said about stepping up to the role of the leader, and offering advice to new gals who may be in the same situaion you were once in: loathing group. <br /><br />Additionally- I know that you have mentioned several times that you struggle to be social. I think that, if anything, Group at least ensures that you are engaing in some form of social activity at least once a week. <br /><br />I think that Group could be an awesome opportunity to learn how to assert yourself; be more social; find your voice in a group setting, etc.<br /><br />I know for myself, I certainly miss Group (at CFC). I stopped going in August after I got out of said hospital- and started back to school. I would like to find a way to tweek my schedule a bit so I myself, can get back to group. Not having been in it for the past several months- I now better recognize the benefits the Group offered (i.e., social support; being able to relate; practice new skills, etc.). <br /><br />I think you should keep at it. But hey, that's this gals opinion. <br /><br />Stay well! <br /><br />XOXO,Fight 4 Ur Lyfehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01710111095621345131noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6957758174408171291.post-40397756369878829912012-01-06T17:28:33.642-07:002012-01-06T17:28:33.642-07:00I do group too and I'm one of the older member...I do group too and I'm one of the older members of the group. I also have done DBT before (not eating disorder group), so I know a lot of the skills and how to use them in real life. I think if you believe you'll grow or even think you will or want to try to, you can always try and if you don't like it say a set period of time, then quit. Nothing lost, nothing gained. But if you feel you really can't cope with it, then give it the flick. Personally I usually love group. I hope you can get that back again if you decide to stay.<br />SarahSairshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09110575221596955775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6957758174408171291.post-26484440345726543222012-01-06T17:26:06.521-07:002012-01-06T17:26:06.521-07:00Can you take a little break, then see how you feel...Can you take a little break, then see how you feel? You may find that's all you need. A break could even re-charge you.<br /><br />My 2c.Erinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15364411316892804132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6957758174408171291.post-44404788564371256332012-01-06T16:40:53.721-07:002012-01-06T16:40:53.721-07:00I agree that you could still gain a lot from going...I agree that you could still gain a lot from going. On the other hand, sometimes it really IS healthy and good to acknowledge that it helped for a season in your life, but it's now time to move on. Only you can decide. For me, groups helped me be more assertive and open, but they also kept me stuck in ED. So, it was MY best decision to stop going. Pray about it, Brie. You will know what's best for you.Heather Lindquisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03995439065551579432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6957758174408171291.post-69447658246547685452012-01-06T15:35:22.706-07:002012-01-06T15:35:22.706-07:00I'm no therapist but I know that it is hard to...I'm no therapist but I know that it is hard to be expected to be a leader all the time. It's almost exhausting forcing yourself to always contribute when your heart isn't in it. I would guess everyone goes through days or weeks when they just don't feel like contributing. But I believe that's okay. Don't be hard on yourself because you've been out of it for a bit. If you decide to go back, just realize that no one expects you to be on top of your game all of the time. Give yourself a break and when you feel ready to lead again, then go for it.Jonny and Haleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03557926391707502777noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6957758174408171291.post-91592101766295573812012-01-06T14:54:54.008-07:002012-01-06T14:54:54.008-07:00Ive kind of been MIA from commenting on your posts...Ive kind of been MIA from commenting on your posts for awhile. Hi Brie! Your daughter is beautiful. Have I told you that yet? Well she is :)<br /><br />I wanted to give my 2 cents..even though thats all its probably worth, is 2 cents :)<br /><br />If I were in your group therapy and I knew there was someone there who had been in the group for 2 years and truly felt it had helped her (I dunno, do they have new people? Do they keep the same girls?) I would want her to speak up and let me know how helpful it has been for her. If there are new girls, Im sure there are those who, like you, LOATHE it. Maybe you can be the leader and let others know that it CAN help and will help if you do open up. <br /><br />Maybe a part of your treatement could be to help those who were once in your shoes?Shannonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02673459282276231731noreply@blogger.com